since i was a young kid ive always struggled with brushing my teeth. at first as a kid it was just general laziness but as i became a teen it sorta became a way to passively harm myself where i knew i was neglecting my body but thought i “deserved” it. for years, ive had awful cavities and even a broken premolar that had sharp edges that would sometimes cause me intense pain, and yet i did nothing about it for over three years! i was so deeply ashamed that it had even gotten to this point and was horrified of explaining myself to a dentist so i let it remain despite things like headheaches, jaw cheek and chest pain. i really was just convinced my teeth couldnt be saved and despite my young age i was just doomed for them to only get worse. i literally would probably go weeks without brushing my teeth at some points despite an insanely sugary diet. my insecurities with my teeth also caused me to avoid romance and dating out of fear of kissing someone and them thinking my breath stinks. i hated my smile in photos too. in a way, letting my teeth rot was denying myself a lot of joys in life and to punish myself.
recently though, i finally decided to do something. im now a college student and realized just how serious dental issues truly are and how it doesnt have to be like this. with my fafsa money i finally went to the dentist and got my mouth sorted. i had severe gingavitis, three teeth (two molars and my premolar) removed, and numerous fillings. it was a lot both energy and money wise but it was SO worth it. not just for my physical heath but also mental as i feel completely free and it eliminated this form of self harm i was continuing by purposefully ignoring them and letting them get worse. the dentists didnt even berate me like i thought they would! they were so kind and congratulated me so much i was getting emotional when they were pulling my teeth cause it almost felt like a rebirth. i genuinely feel so much freer and even though i have a visibly missing tooth in my premolars, i havent liked my smile the way i do now for years!
if you have teeth issues and youre scared of getting them fixed out of judgment or because its also a way of not allowing yourself to get better, i really please implore you to just rip the bandaid off and get them checked out! the sooner the better and if you let them be long enough, dental issues can directly effect your heart and brain. i feel like this was the first step to get better and more confident in so many different areas of my life. i allowed my teeth to isolate me by being scared to date or laugh or even just talk to people face to face and i would constantly compare my teeth to other peoples. dont let your own shame or the judgments of dentists/others stop you from doing something that really does make SUCH a difference.