I don’t want to quit
Hey all, just gonna get straight into it.. I don’t drink every day or anything but when a lot of the time when I drink I get f**ked up.
I recently brought my partner to Glasgow for his birthday and managed to be on my best behaviour, we got drunk(ish) and had a lovely time but I didn’t lose control.
Then last night I was out with 2 friends and got so drunk I randomly called someone I know (they didn’t pick up thankfully), couldn’t figure out where my boyfriend was because he was picking me up at like 3am and then pissed the bed at home.
When it’s me and my boyfriend going for pints it’s fine but at events like weddings, going on nights out with friends etc I get so messed up, I often piss the bed, sometimes I vomit (although that’s not too often). I’m not sure if I just have a bad relationship with alcohol or I’m an alcoholic but at this stage that’s not even the point, I just need to stop this. I’m 27 and I’m acting like I’m drinking for the first time sometimes.
I don’t mean to blame anything or anyone but I wasn’t a big drinker before covid and then soon after (in 2023) I was badly assaulted in the street for being gay and my dad passed away in March (likely an overdose or something relating to drugs).. they sound like excuses but genuinely trying to give context, whatever I drink or do to myself is 100% on me and I know that.
Just looking for advice maybe as to how I can calm myself and stop this. Thanks