u/Federal_Fun6414

In November 2025, I had laparoscopic excision surgery and diagnosis. The deeply infiltrating endo and dense adhesions were removed from my left ovary, round ligament, uterus, pouch of Douglas etc.
I luckily went private and had one of the best endo specialists in my area perform the surgery. He said my chance of reoccurrence in the next 5-10 years would be 4% with good management. (We discussed that lifestyle management was most appropriate for me personally)

After my surgery, I had reduced deep pelvic pain, pressure and bloating along with finally having almost full mobility back in my hips - I hadn’t realised how frozen and immobile the adhesions had made me. I did experience significant fatigue, exhaustion etc which have continued since.
I’m still getting nausea episodes almost daily, exhaustion, breathlessness, brain fog, hot flushes, full body weakness and extreme joint pain that made using my fingers and hands really difficult and painful for a few weeks. (+ more symptoms - too many to note)
Since surgery, I’ve also had increased rectal issues like bleeding and pain - although maybe not as bad as before - I’m struggling to tell.

My cycles following surgery were improved until around 2-3 months ago when I noticed returning ovulation pains, albeit not as bad as before. This month has been worse though and today I’ve had a sudden onset of deep pelvic pain which is making me feel slightly winded.

I’m concerned about reoccurance or missed endo lesions and at a bit of a loss as my health has significantly disrupted my life, including my work where I’ve had to take additional sick days despite only working 2 days per week. I just want to get on with my life so am trying to engage in and enjoy what I can but feeling less able to even exercise or work more compared to before surgery is really hard to deal with.

For context, I’m also diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, PCOS (no cysts on ultrasound), thoracic scoliosis, anxiety & depression (no shit) and have iron deficiency + high thyroid antibodies. I defo have undiagnosed PMDD & CPTSD too.

Could this be early reoccurance or maybe missed endo elsewhere ? Is this likely just my other conditions? I’m sick of being sick.

Obviously I’m in touch with my GP & trying to get referrals for the other things - but the NHS is piss poor and my insurance has some limitations so it’s a bit of a waiting game atm.

I’ve got a range of diagnosed chronic conditions that I just can’t seem to accept. I have this intense internalised ableism and borderline classism that I would never direct at anyone else but cant seem to stop targeting at myself.

It’s been over 15 years now, and these conditions have stole my youth and ruined my ability to have stable relationships, education, career, etc and I don’t know why I’m still fighting to have those things and even be here. I can’t even enjoy the good days as much as I want because these waves of imposter syndrome and anxiety drown me. When I manage to do things I almost punish myself for not being able to do them on different days or consistently. I struggle with feeling so ill all the time but looking so normal and masking so well most of the time. I’ve been really lucky that despite these issues I’ve been able to access and experience things most people don’t, but that just comes with guilt and more imposter syndrome ?

I’m having private EMDR, have done all the referrals, medications and counselling in the past, doing all the lifestyle things, have done all the research but just don’t know where to go from here. How do you all accept that there is no “getting better” an that this is forever and just enjoy what you can when you can?