u/Federal-Help1717

Lately I’ve been really confused about Neville Goddard’s idea of “living in the end” because my actual experiences seem to contradict it, and it’s honestly becoming emotionally exhausting.

Every time a desire has come to me naturally, it happened when I truly let go. Not in the “I already have it” sense people talk about, but more in a defeated or accepting sense. Like, “whatever happens, happens.” I stop obsessing, stop emotionally gripping onto the outcome, accept reality as it is, and then somehow things move in my favor.

But when I consciously try to apply Neville’s teachings — embodying the end state, assuming the wish fulfilled, thinking FROM the desire instead of OF it — I often end up disappointed.

For context: I just finished my BFA in theatre, and the environment was honestly very toxic. It created this constant need for validation from professors, and a lot of us never felt good enough. My confidence in my talent took a huge hit there.

After graduating, I started training at a respected acting studio in my city. I originally applied for the beginner class because it was cheaper, but they bumped me into a higher level because of my experience and representation. Later, I asked to be re-evaluated because the level felt too easy. At first I was anxious, but eventually I let go and genuinely accepted that staying there was okay. I stopped obsessing over advancement, focused on learning, made friends, and detached from the outcome. Soon after, they moved me up.

Then came another assessment for advancement into the next level. This time, I consciously tried to apply “living in the end.” I told myself I was obviously advancing. I embodied the mindset of someone who already had it. My instructor gave me positive feedback. My peers told me I was strong. I genuinely felt aligned with the outcome and then stopped thinking about it.

But I didn’t advance.

And this keeps happening to me. Whenever I try to consciously “live in the end,” I seem to meet disappointment. Meanwhile, simply letting go, accepting things as they are, or even emotionally giving up seems to work better. At the very least, it protects me from getting my hopes up.

Now I’m left wondering if what people call “the end state” is actually just emotional non-resistance and acceptance, rather than forcing yourself to feel certain. Because every time I try to intentionally embody certainty, I end up hurt. I guess now I just feel scared to get to the end state or try to even apply teachings sometimes.

TL;DR at the end! Sorry the post is so long.

I’ve been thinking a lot about manifestation lately, especially the law of assumption, detachment, “living in the end,” ignoring the 3D self concept, all of that. I honestly do believe mindset matters, and I’ve had small things happen in my life that made me believe there’s truth to it. I also believe in God and prayer very deeply.

But I think what I struggle with now is understanding where the line is between faith, surrender, and just trying to force yourself not to feel reality.

Before my dad got sick, I used to fully believe that if you persisted, stayed positive, affirmed, trusted, prayed, and lived in the end, things would eventually work out. Then my dad suddenly got extremely sick out of nowhere. He was only 50, the healthiest person I knew, and nobody understood what happened, not even doctors. My whole family prayed constantly. I believed in manifestation, so I kept just affirming and thinking he's okay and small things were saving him, and then he suddenly passed away. Something my parents always prayed wouldn't happen because they both lost their dads at a young age and didn't want their kids to lose one.

Ever since then, I’ve struggled with faith in God and learned Neville's teachings. Although it hurts to think about grief and look for answers, I've accepted that getting an answer won't bring my dad back, so it's best to move on from grief and trauma. I've been going to therapy for this, too.

I still believe mindset affects your life. I still believe in affirmations, self-concept, and not spiralling over circumstances. But sometimes I genuinely don’t understand what people mean when they say to completely ignore the 3D or persist no matter what.

I’ve tried the methods. I’ve tried affirming. I’ve tried letting go. I’ve tried surrendering and focusing on myself. I’ve tried “being okay either way.” I’ve tried living in the end. And sometimes things still don’t happen. Or life goes in a completely different direction.

What confuses me is that people say “detach and it’ll come when you least expect it,” but sometimes I really have detached and accepted things, and nothing has changed. Sometimes the opposite happened. So I kinda learned to just give up and go with the flow, I guess. It's so emotionally draining sometimes that I just hope for the best. Unfortunately, I've developed a fear now. But it's okay, it happens. I guess I'm just so emotionally drained from everything, I don't have it in me to think in the end state and have full faith and confidence and trust anymore. I do believe things work out! But I don't know how to explain it, to be honest.

I was so happy with my life with my dad. The 4 of us had a safe space, and I knew my family was so loving and always there. We don't have any grandparents, and distant relatives aren't really in our lives, so we had our own little safe bubble. After he passed, it felt like we were shattered, my mom, my sister and I still learned to keep that space safe, even though it was scary. We are the 3 musketeers now, and I guess we see problems sometimes, and I just keep wondering, growing up, I always thought things worked out in the end, and my parents got hit with tragedies growing up, and the same tragedy they feared happened to us.

So I guess my question is: how do people approach manifestation in a healthy way after experiencing real grief or disappointment? How do you balance faith and acceptance without feeling like you’re suppressing reality or blaming yourself when things don’t work out?

I heavily believe in manifestation, and I know things are working behind the scenes (hopefully), and I guess I'm just tired of having things I want dangle in front of me. Sometimes I wonder why the desire is so strong, why it would come to me in the most destined odd ways and then never happen. I'm tired of the pain. I’m genuinely trying to understand it in a healthier and more grounded way now.

TL;DR: I used to fully believe in manifestation, law of assumption, prayer, and “living in the end.” Then my dad suddenly got sick and passed away despite my family and many others constantly praying, affirming, and holding onto hope. Since then, I’ve struggled with teachings about ignoring the 3D, persisting no matter what, and believing everything works out if your mindset is right. I continued manifesting after, and things did work, but I kept getting met with disappointment no matter what when it came to things I actually really wanted. My strongest desires, if you will.

I still believe mindset and self-concept matter, but I’m emotionally exhausted and confused about how to approach manifestation in a healthy, grounded way after real grief and disappointment. How do you balance faith, acceptance, and reality without suppressing emotions or blaming yourself when things don’t work out?