Im going through a pretty hard time right now. Broke up with my boyfriend after 2.5 years. I haven’t worked since October and I found out today that I didn’t get a job I really wanted. I’m being audited for my 2025 state taxes (I know that’s dumb to include. But yall. It’s so fucking TEDIOUS. It’s truly mind-numbing).
In my life before this I would order a dumpling feast and drink a bottle of wine and mope. Maybe have some ice cream. In the before times I was an epically emotional eater and binge eater.
NOW I HAVE TO ACTUALLY FEEL ALL OF THIS SHIT.
I can’t even eat my feelings. Like physically cannot eat them. Mentally am not interested.
So now I just have to FEEL ALL OF THIS SADNESS AND ANXIETY AND LONELINESS.
I know overall this is a win. Duh. I know.
that’s why I said this is a vent. Just the wild thing in my head.
I don’t really have anywhere else to share this insane thought. So please no hate. I am aware that overall this is a good thing.
But losing a crutch is still losing a crutch when you feel alone and sad. Losing a quick fix is still a loss.
Losing something that has soothed you for 45 years is fucking real.
So now I just sit here and cry? Is that the deal?