I am 26 year old woman who decided that she wanted to do css. Started preparing for it in 2022 and appeared in 2023 , but fortunately/unfortunately couldn't clear essay. Appeared again in 2025, and unfortunately cleared all. Thing about 2022 attempt is that though I didn't clear the exam, but my overall score was pretty good. So, for 2025 attempt, I had an year to prepare and I went all out( research papers , international authors, everything), and considering track record of 2022 exam, I was pretty hopeful that I will get good score in 2025 too( my paper went super well and I was super pumped). After written result, you have to appear in interview and interview went really well.
Yesterday we got the final result, and I don't know fortunately/unfortunately ( Sylvia Plath's fig tree analogy) I could not make it to the allocation. I said fine, things happen but later at night when we got detailed mark sheets(DMC's) it broke my heart that not only my written score is abysmal, my interview score is pretty bad too. I am not a delusional person, but my exams were really good, I had references from international authors , more nuanced than a textbook answer. It has left me completely baffled that when I answered as if I was in matric, I got a good score and when I actually answered on par with competitive standard, I got such abysmal score. Safe to say I am very very heartbroken and just need some reassurance.