Frustrated with brown discharge on HRT and partner's depression over it
I apologized for the long post but I'm so depressed and frustrated and I don't know what to do here.
I'm 3 years post menopause at 56 and my partner is significantly older and a prostate cancer survivor. We have an active and awesome sex life despite his surgically induced ED from the cancer treatment and it's never been an issue as I love him dearly.
I've been on Est/Prog combo HRT for well over a year but lost about 20 lbs over a few months and ever since then, I've been spotting daily with the brown gunk.
I have an "in person" local male gyno who is anti-HRT, I live in a very rural area without many docs to choose from, and ended up using an online menopause clinic to get my blood hormone level tests, Rx, and follow up care.
The problem is, because my partner cannot have regular intercourse anymore he really enjoys finding other ways for us to share intimacy which is amazing. He loves doing oral but I know the discharge is a turn off for him and he's gotten depressed that the spotting just will not stop.
I agree with him on the spotting. I'm beyond frustrated with it. I've had my levels checked again and we've adjusted my doses of both E and P and now even tried changing the types of E from oral to patches to now gel with zero results. Each change got about 3 months before the docs suggested switching to a different delivery.
The patch seemed to make the spotting worse, heavier. It was the Dotti patch that you change 2x week and it seemed to just wear off too fast by the second day. So now I'm on the gel you put on your thigh and I still see zero change.
My progesterone dose is 300mg XR orally daily. I know that's a high dose but lower levels weren't controlling my symptoms. The gel is Estriadol 1.25 mg gel and we also tried lower doses without full relief of symptoms.
I used these strengths of meds for about 18 months with zero spotting and full symptom resolution. Then I started a weight loss program and lost 20 lbs. I went from 145 to 125 over about 5 months and the spotting started randomly and then just became a daily frustration.
I've had THREE full pelvic exams, paps, blood work, and two TV ultrasounds since the spotting started and all were totally normal. No fibroids, no cancer, no infections or abnormalities. Zip.
Hormone levels in bloodwork are still in normal range and my symptoms are all perfect..... except for the discharge.
I cry every day over this. The docs are stumped. They've said it could take up to 6 months for the uterus to adjust to any hormone dose/type changes and I just need to wait. Another doc said I could try the "last resort" shy of halting treatment altogether, which would be to stop all HRT for 3-5 days and then restart it to see if that resets my body's expectations.
My poor partner is depressed because he feels this is somehow his fault because if he could have regular intercourse this wouldn't be an issue (he means the ick factor) and I keep telling him it's not in any way his fault but it's incredibly painful to see the disappointment when he wants to be intimate and there's a mess to deal with.
I've tried careful washing immediately prior to intimacy but there's always some discharge in the vagina that I would have to basically douche to get out (which I don't) that ends up coming out.
WHAT can I do???? I am emotionally drained over this and do NOT want to go back to hot flashes, brain fog, irritability and bone loss. But I don't want my partner to suffer from this either.
I tried using a tampon, which I never liked to use when I had periods let alone now when things are a lot drier. That isn't an option. I also tried a menstrual cup which caught the discharge, but it is uncomfortable and he is very aware it's there as it limits what he can do with his hands to some degree.
Again, all my tests and levels are normal. No disease or abnormalities have been found. Physical exams and tests all came back perfectly clear.
I need this discharge to stop once and for all. Can anyone give me hope that my body will go back to normal one day? I'm losing hope.
Thank you in advance for letting me share. I need a hug. Lol