4.0 Student ready to drop out over severe Public Speaking anxiety.
I'm not sure what it is. I'm great 1-on-1, but when I have a bunch of eyes on me, I crumble to pieces. I only have to give speeches for about 30 seconds to solve a quick math problem on the board, but it destroys me. The anxiety makes my body feel drained and tired, and the anticipation destroys my focus and my day. I've done 5 or so presentations, and the fear feels exactly the same every time.
I have what I call "Work in-progress" OCD. It used to be bad, but it's a lot better now. However, when it comes to public speaking, I get severe anxiety. I get facial flushing, it feels like I can't breathe, and my mind blanks despite having the material right in front of me. I literally feel as if I am going to die.
I thought I would do fine and enrolled in the public speaking class I need to graduate, but after giving my first anxiety-ridden presentation in math, I decided to drop the PS class.
I feel as if I have retreated from society and live in my own fears in my head. It's tragic because I'm a 4.0 student, but my fear is so intense that thoughts of dropping out just to avoid public speaking cross my mind constantly.
My anxiety doesn't actually come from the material being presented; it comes from the feelings within my body. Once the shakiness comes in, the hot flushed face feeling, and the sweaty palms, my mind fixates on it.
I don't want this to be my life. I'm enrolling in a Public Speaking Summer class to face this head-on.
Please give me some advice, all is welcome.
TL;DR: I am a 4.0 student with mild OCD who gets severe, debilitating physical anxiety symptoms (flushing, shaking, mind-blanking) during even 30-second presentations. The fear of the physical symptoms themselves is making me want to drop out. I'm re-enrolling in a summer Public Speaking class to conquer it and need advice on managing the physical panic.