u/Far-Physics-7307

Hi all, I’m looking for some outside perspective on a situation with my supervisor that has been escalating over the past year. I’ll try to keep this to the point and include a timeline:

Background:

I work in a research center at a college. My role involves coordinating research projects, supporting fellows, and developing materials (presentations, protocols, etc.), and I have published a paper. For most of 2025, my working relationship with my supervisor was positive.

Timeline

Early 2025 (Jan–August)

• Working relationship was positive
• I was able to complete tasks independently with guidance
• Communication felt collaborative

September 2025

• I got into my first disagreement with my supervisor

*Our relationship drastically changed after this point*

September 2025 (Research Symposium)

• A research symposium took place when I was 9 months pregnant
• My work contributed to the event
• During acknowledgments:
  • My name was not mentioned
• Supervisor treated me horribly at the symposium. For instance, the photographer was showing pictures from Day 1 of the event and there were some nice pictures of me. A fellow complimented me, which made my supervisor go to the photographer to delete those pictures of me.

September-December 2025

• I went on maternity leave
• 1 week after I gave birth, my supervisor texted me to ask for drafts of research materials that she had assigned for me to work on the day before giving birth. One of them was a presentation on a paper that I wrote with her as a second author. I worked on the drafts during my maternity leave and then sent them to her.
• While I was on leave:
  • The work I had contributed to was presented
  • My contributions were not clearly acknowledged

January 2026 (Conference)

• My supervisor asked to meet me in person at a conference
• The interaction felt tense and more like being questioned/interrogated than a collaborative discussion
• After this, I became uncomfortable with informal in-person meetings
• Our quarterly goal-setting form was due soon, and she gave me my first negative feedback after having previous goal-setting forms that were positive

March 2026 (Conference)

• I contributed to the conference and gave a presentation
• I noticed:
  • my name was not included in acknowledgments
  • my name was not included in the conference booklet
• At the same time as my presentation, another session (CV workshop) was scheduled at the last-minute by my supervisor for fellows:
  • most fellows attended that instead
  • my session had ~15 attendees out of ~100 conference participants

Late March – Early April 2026

• I began working on a research task (protocol development)
• I sent multiple emails asking for clarification before completing the work
• I tried to ensure alignment before submitting

April 2026 (HR involvement + escalation)

• I reached out to HR for guidance and requested mediation
• During another conference, my supervisor asked to meet in person again
• Because of the prior January interaction, I declined and told her I had contacted HR and preferred structured communication***********************************************************After this point, I noticed a clear shift:
• much more detailed, step-by-step instructions
• repeated follow-ups on items I had already completed
• increased scrutiny of my work
• emails suggesting I have a “disconnect” in understanding tasks

Most recent situation

• I completed an assignment after asking for clarification multiple times
• Feedback I received from supervisor:
  • stated that instructions had always been clear
  • suggested I have difficulty processing directions
• When I explained my approach and prior questions, the response doubled down on this framing

Where things stand now

• HR has escalated my concerns to the Provost’s office
• I’m trying to:
  • keep communication professional
  • document everything
  • focus on completing my work

At the same time:

• I’m being asked to meet in person again on a weekly basis with my supervisor
• I’m not comfortable doing so without a mediator given prior experiences

My questions:

1. How would you handle a supervisor who:
   • gives limited initial direction
   • then provides detailed corrections after the fact
   • frames the issue as your misunderstanding?
2. Did any of you have HR forward your complaint to the office of the provost? If so, what happened?
3. Is it reasonable to request communication stay written or mediated right now?
4. Any advice on protecting myself professionally while this is being reviewed?

Appreciate any insight.