I'll tell the story first and then get to the whole picture:
In spring 2024 I did a cut, nothing too crazy, a mindful deficit of ~200 calories. Only looking back now, I would guess that missing my period for a couple of cycles back then might have been related to the energy deficit (considering that, maybe my body is just really sensitive to this kind of stuff?). After loosing a few kilos I ended the cut and I think everything was back to normal and stable.
But after less than a half year it all resurfaced - I've had a rrrrreeeallly bad time (which would be too long to describe in detail) but basically - extreme stress, depression and GI issues so bad, that they led to ARFID and I lost around 12 kilos over the course of 5 months - considering that then I actually didn't have any extra weight to lose. So around three months of that unintentional weight-loss my period went missing (well, no shit) and I haven't seen it ever since.
That episode started in fall of 2024 and, thankfully, this winter I recovered - mentally and physically. I am now back at my normal weight, my diet is as indulgent, as it was before gut problems, the stress is manageable and I am just generally happy with my life.
But the period has been missing for almost two years and this is really stressing me. I also went through three months of hormonal therapy (the drospirenone-estradiol kind) this september-november and had a "period" in december, but nothing else ever since, so I don't think that counts as any kind of recovery.
Regarding my lifestyle:
Generally my relationship with food is more healthy, than not - I wouldn't say I've ever had a full-blown ED, but definitely some episodes and bad examples throughout my life. Also I'm a chef lol, so I do actually love delicious food
For the past 3-4 years I've gotten really into weightlifting, think muscle mommy kind of stuff. But regarding my relationship with food, that probably only did good - I prioritize fueling that hobby and make sure I get enough macro- and micronutrients.
Maybe I need to hear the harsh truth that the gym is the problem - I do admit that I'm obsessed with it - but not in a "burn the calories" and compensatory way, just as a hobby that I genuinely enjoy and a way that I like to spend my free time, so I account for the physical activity in my nutrition and lifestyle.
I've obviously cut back on that at times of intense recovery, but otherwise I'm just not sure that exercising less will improve the quality of my life and therefore aid the cycle coming back.
It's just that all of this has me wondering that maybe there are some underlying problems, that started way before the the whole calorie tweaking and exercise and I need to have something else checked out. Or just move to a remote location in the depths of nature and become completely stress-free for my body to finally get the signal that I'm safe lol.
It would be really helpful to hear similar stories and find out what else might be helpful.
And I genuinely appreciate all of the beautiful souls on here and hope that all of us will be healthy and thriving