I know that you hate me now, I know you more than you think. I deserve some of these feelings. You’re right to think that I was manipulative and you didn’t waste much time so you cut things loose, it was a smart move to do. This is the only form of love that I knew. Control and manipulation.
But here’s what you don’t know. The first time we’ve been together after I left your place I got drunk and cried my soul out, I didn’t know why back then. Maybe it was the amount of love that I felt that night that touched my soul.
You don’t know that when you told me to find someone else that my heart literally was hurting. You don’t know that the last time I saw you with that cold look in your eyes I prayed that day that God take my soul.
A lot of things you don’t know. You don’t know that I loved your smile more than your attractive body. You don’t know that when I imagine you in my head I imagine you as a worm or ugly person to force myself to see if I would still love you and I do.
I took a vow on myself that I would never use control or manipulation in love again. And I mean love for humans because I won’t love another woman again that also you don’t know.
Even if you hate me I will still love you, maybe not in a romantic way but more than that. I still pray for you. I pray you find someone who loves you and take care of you and whom you love.
Never give up on love, never give up on hope. I will never give up on you and when I die I know Ill see you again. Till then..