Half a year and these days it is worse
These days...and nights I am having dreams/nightmares with my grandpa and dad. Currently Grandpa has been dead for 6-7 years and dad has been extremly ill for half a year. Dad was supposed to get better by now, but that is not happening, he is in the same state he was after the accident (he fell asleep and woke up paralyzed). He lives alone and was not a very communicative person so he was found late. Doctors could only save his life, not his ability to move. My grandma is okay with the fact that granpa died. She has a milder form of alzheimer and it is like her brain resets every 3-4 minutes.
These being said, I cannot sleep. Ever since dad's accident it has been extremly difficult to sleep. I never had sleep problems before. There are so many thoughts in my head when I try to sleep...at home I thought maybe it is because I live alone, but this week I have been staying at mom's and it is wose. I get along with her, I do not know why this is happening.
At home I have a big teddy bear and as bad as this sounds at 22 years old, I can get a little sleep when I hug it. Not the full 8 hours, but enough to feel ok. I got a boyfriend who does not live with me. I feel a lot better when he comes over and stays the night. Sometimes I cannot sleep even if he is around but most nights when he was around I slept about 7 hours which is good enough.
I am not on medicine yet. I still hope it is not the case to take medicine yet. I used to drink lavander tea and valerian tea back in highschool when I was stressed about my grades. I should probably try them again...