u/Fancy-Abroad-6144

Hey everyone. I’m a pretty new Christian, I was raised in the church and came back to Jesus this year. I have been struggling with really heavy personal matters, and the new convictions I face of course. I’ve had really bad bouts of depression since I was young. Just incredible sadness and horrible feelings in my chest when heavy situations in life happen. I try to lean on god during these times but sometimes I just feel alone. (I know I’m not and God is with me but how can I stop this feeling?) I just sometimes have a feeling I’m too sensitive to handle the grievances we face here on Earth. I wear my heart on my sleeve and it seems like I always have a visceral reaction when things go bad, I have a tendency to just breakdown. I talk to Jesus about them and make sure to keep faith but sometimes it’s so strong I just get confused on how to handle it. I’ve always had these meltdowns and I think it’s tied to just not feeling good enough. I constantly mess up in my walk with God and I have a past. I see posts if I’m not doing a,b,c as a Christian then I’m not a real Christian. It all gets confusing sometimes. Just looking for some tips and what you guys do when you’re in really deep waters. I pray, I try to be the best I can for God everyday. But I falter at times and blame myself.