Hello everyone,
I’m looking for some perspective on setting boundaries with in-laws after baby arrives.
I haven’t had my baby yet (I’m planning an elective C-section), but I’m already feeling a bit anxious about how to handle visits in those early weeks.
For context: my in-laws live about 10 minutes away. They’re kind and generous people, but I don’t see them very often. My partner’s mum has a habit of texting to ask if we’re home - and if we don’t reply, sometimes just turning up anyway.
My own mum lives very close (2 minutes away), so I imagine she’ll naturally be around more to help during recovery.
My partner also has two sisters. One of them, to be honest, has never been nice to me - she hasn’t checked in at all during my pregnancy, but recently messaged my partner saying she wants to visit “the bump before it is born” She lives about two hours away but visits the area fairly often. I actually don’t want her around my child when they become impressionable, because she is a bit of a brat.
I think what I’m struggling with is:
What’s a reasonable timeframe before having in-laws visit after a C-section?
How do you set boundaries around unannounced visits, especially when that’s already a pattern?
How can I handle the sister-in-law situation in a way that doesn’t create tension for my partner, but still respects my own comfort?
I don’t want to come across as difficult but I also know recovery + a newborn is going to be a vulnerable time, and I want to feel as calm and in control of my space as possible. My partner is good at setting boundaries when I need him to.
Would really appreciate hearing how others have navigated similar situations.