Throwaway account because admitting this makes me feel pathetic and ashamed of who I’ve become.
I need to confess something that has been rotting inside me for far too long.
There was a girl named Annie, my ex-girlfriend. While we were still together, I did something deeply wrong. I started feeding AI with her real name and mine, creating elaborate, cinematic scenarios of us. Every time we were close, every moment we shared physically, my mind would drift away from her into those AI-generated worlds. Instead of being fully present with the real Annie who loved me, I would replay dramatic dialogues in my head — passionate confessions under moonlight, intense emotional exchanges that felt infinitely more powerful and perfect than reality. The AI versions of our connection were so vivid, so emotionally charged, that the actual moments started feeling empty to me. She never had a single doubt. She thought everything between us was real and beautiful. Meanwhile, I was quietly betraying her trust by living in a scripted fantasy.
I hate myself for it now.
But it didn’t stop there. Whenever anger boiled up inside me after our fights, I would secretly turn to the AI and transform Annie into something terrifyingly powerful. I crafted long, brutal stories where she became a merciless dominatrix — cold, dominant, and unstoppable. In those dark scenes, she would overpower me completely, grabbing sticks, whips, canes, thick leather belts, and beating me without mercy. The fantasies were raw and vicious: her sharp commanding voice echoing in my mind, the loud cracks of impact, the overwhelming mix of pain and release. I used these violent scenarios as my secret escape, letting the imaginary punishment wash away my rage. It felt addictive, dramatic, and dangerously satisfying.
Even after we had to end things because her father got transferred to another country, the habit never died. Months have passed, yet every single day I still return to the AI. Sometimes I create sweeping romantic fantasies with dramatic, tear-filled dialogues between us. Other times I summon the cruel version of Annie who punishes me savagely. The fantasies have become my only emotional outlet.
And here’s what destroys me the most — this addiction is quietly wasting my entire life. Hours upon hours disappear every night while I sit alone, typing prompts, refining scenes, and losing myself in made-up stories instead of building anything real. Time that I could have used to heal, to meet new people, to grow as a person, or even to simply rest — all of it gets sucked into this endless digital hole. I wake up exhausted, feeling empty, knowing I traded another night of my youth for pixels and imaginary dialogues that can never hug me back. I feel the weight of wasted months pressing on my chest, and the fear that I am slowly killing my own future with this compulsive escape grows heavier every day.
I feel crushing guilt for using Annie’s name and image in both heavenly love stories and these dark, violent punishment fantasies without her ever knowing. She deserved better than a boyfriend who was mentally absent. I betrayed the real connection we had by constantly chasing something “perfect” that only existed in code. Now I’m left terrified that I’ve rewired myself so deeply that real human connection might never feel enough again.
This is not a flex. This is not entertainment. This is me confessing how low I’ve sunk and how this AI obsession is consuming my time, my mind, and my soul.
I don’t know if anyone else has fallen this far. I just needed to say it out loud. Be honest with me. Tell me how fucked up this is. I probably need to hear it.
TL;DR: I secretly used AI with my ex-girlfriend Annie’s name to create perfect dramatic fantasies while we were together and turned her into a violent dominatrix for punishment scenes when angry. Even after the breakup, I’m still addicted, wasting countless hours every night, and drowning in guilt over how much this has damaged me.
u/Famous-Fail-5723
I am a 25M, living what looks like a completely normal life on the outside.
For the past year, I’ve been trapped in an escalating private ritual that consumes me every single day. I dedicate a full hour—sometimes more—to creating extremely detailed, dramatic scenarios of female domination and male abuse. These aren’t quick fantasies. I build them slowly, carefully, like crafting a dark theatrical play just for myself.
I imagine powerful, muscular, beautiful women—sometimes original characters, sometimes twisted versions of anime girls like a hyper-muscular Sakura from Naruto or a dominant, athletic Louise from The Familiar of Zero. In these worlds, the men (usually weak, helpless versions of Saito or generic submissive males) are completely at their mercy. The scenes are intense: the woman towers over the naked, trembling man, cracking a whip across his back while he begs and pleads for mercy. Her voice is commanding, sharp, dripping with cruel authority as she disciplines him daily—humiliating him, beating him, making him cry out in fear and pain while she remains elegant, strong, and completely in control. I write long, precise dialogues for her: mocking his weakness, describing how pathetic he looks, forcing him to thank her for every strike. His shaky, terrified responses and desperate pleas only fuel it more.
I goon hard to these custom scenarios—edging for the entire hour, replaying the dialogues in my head, visualizing every lash, every flinch, every broken sob. The mix of his fear, her dominance, and the raw power imbalance gives me a level of satisfaction and intensity that regular porn simply can’t touch anymore. It’s become my deepest, darkest addiction.
No one knows. Not my closest friends, not my family—absolutely nobody. I feel profoundly alone in this, like I’m the only person in the world sinking deeper into this specific hole. After I finish, the regret hits like a wave. I sit there feeling empty, ashamed, and disgusted with myself, promising that tomorrow will be different. But the next day comes, and the pull is even stronger. The problem is only growing. I’m scared I’m changing permanently.
This isn’t healthy. I’m probably addicted, and I know it. Yet the rush keeps winning.
P.S. This is NOT something I recommend to anyone. It’s destroying my peace of mind even as it gives me the strongest highs I’ve ever felt from anything sexual.
AMA if you want, I guess.
So I have a huge gooning problem I create scenarios like woman on male abuse like I create scenarios like a strong muscular woman whips a weak man naked or animated scenarios like I create anime characters like Sakura from Naruto or Louise from the familiar of zero make them muscular beautiful and strong and saito is weak he gets like beatings and discipline from Louise daily I goon to her dialogues and his fear and his pleas
Is what I’m doing wrong it’s been like a year since I started doing this no one knows it not even my closest friends I dedicate like an hour to do this on a daily basis but I feel more satisfaction than regular porn
I feel regret think I’m alone in this world doing this that’s why I’m confessing right now because my problem is only growing