I was looking for a natural material assan today .. probably grass or cotton ... and I came across a rudraksha mat.
Is this an acceptable mat? or perhaps it's just used for very specific rituals?
I'm shocked ... plus, they will break ...
I’m looking for perspective on a disturbing experience I had at a temple in Canada. I went for astrological and Sadhana advice from a Tantric Shaivite priest (active since the 90s), but I left feeling "gross" and spiritually attacked.
The Experience:
Throughout the session, he was too casual, and even touched my arm and kept steering the conversation toward Maithuna Sadhana. He insisted that my Vedic chart shows I need to "have fun" and "enjoy my life," claiming that was what was "wrong" with me. I am in my 30s and have a dedicated personal practice, but his behavior triggered a "freeze and fawn" response. I felt like I was being groomed, like a "sacrifice" being prepared… rather than a seeker being guided.
Cultural Context:
I am not Desi (I often get perceived as a "white girl" who doesn't know anything). I suspect he was far more forward with me than he would ever be with someone from within his own community.
While I’m trying to give him 1% doubt, nothing he said about my chart made sense based on my own study of it. Interestingly, even my regular astrologer in India says I need to "have fun," but with this priest, it felt EVEN MORE predatory and WRONG as he specifically brought up Maithuna … if it’s normal for tantriks to talk about these things … please tell me because I have only ever practiced myself, with books, and guidance of online friends.
I need advice on the following:
The Prasad: I have it in my car but I’m scared to touch it. I’m afraid of spiritual repercussions for throwing it out. Is it okay to leave it for animals or compost it to get it out of my space?
Vashikaran/Protection: I feel "blocked" and couldn't even do my jaaps last night. How can I ensure he didn’t put any "spells" or vashikaran on me? What are the best ways to clear this energy so I can reclaim my spiritual space?
Red Flags: Is this behavior ever normal in Tantric spaces, or is my intuition right about the grooming vibes? Even my regular astrologer in India who works with my whole family, and was a close friends family astrologer before we met him few years ago … gives the same vibe … I’m not one of those girls who says this about everyone. I had worked in a male dominated professional since I was 21 … I know how to handle people usually … but I’m doubting myself … do I really need to have ‘fun’ or am I just being misguided :(
Resources: Since I don't have a guru, can you recommend remedy books for astrology based Sadhana? Preferably in English.
I’m also looking for recommendations for SAFE, professional sadhaks / astrologers who actually counsel and look at charts DEEPLY … I have spent hundreds of hours studying my own chart … I want help with the sadhanna and remedy part.