Back story on Bella: My four year old girl has separation anxiety. Her anxiety manifests as: Howling in the middle of the night, waiting by the door when we leave, high stress levels when we go on trips (we have a cat sitter, and also I recognize that this is probably a normal trait), and howling all night when we return.
She was surrendered to the shelter because of a cat hoarding situation, and when she was surrendered she had a close friend that she was probably bonded too, but that cat was more sociable and was adopted first.
After her mates adoption the staff tried to introduce her to a communal cat room, but she had to be removed because the other cats were bullying her. She definitely holds the title of “tiny tiger” (a very scared cat). we’ve had her for three years now(!) and she has really come out of her shell and is such a cute, sweet, and sassy girl.
About a year and a half/ two years ago I had done loads of research and decided that (after settling a feeding schedule, getting interactive toys, setting a hunt then eat bedtime- etc.) getting a friend for Bella might solve our midnight screaming issues. Unfortunately, by husband has insomnia, and the yowing really effects him.
So, doing my diligence while working at a local shelter, I found a cat that I thought would be a complimentary addition. Enter Daisy- four year old domestic medium hair with a playful streak and no teeth. from everything that I knew about Bella’s last friend, I thought Daisy checked a lot of boxes.
Daisy was “well adjusted,” the same age as Bella, social, and probably would do well with any animal. Should be great, right? Wrong.
We followed all of the steps- divide the house, sent swapping, everything. Daisy either loved Bella and Bella hated her or Daisy hated Bella. I’m talking Daisy busting through the door, pupils wide, trying to get to and chase Bella— cornering her and getting in her business even though Bella is showing clear signs of distress. It was a lot.
We started working with a cat behaviorist and ultimately (after several months of splitting our small apartment), that Daisy was too friendly (or a bully?) and that it was not going to work.
Fast forward to today. It took a while for Bella to fall back into her old habits, but eventually she did start wit her separation anxiety traits again. Thus, my husband can’t sleep and Bella is always anxious.
Should I try again with a younger cat? Would she be afraid of a kitten? Is this just our life?