There is a quiet kind of agony in watching the person you love fall for your best friend. The sharpest sting, however, is the silence I’ve chosen; I am too terrified to confess, haunted by the fear of losing the fragile tether we still have.
I refuse to risk our current world because, right now, I still get to see her. I can sit beside her, listen to her voice, and admire that radiant smile from up close. Whenever I look into her brown eyes, I lose myself completely—they are a depth I happily drown in.
I tell myself this proximity is enough, even as the truth slowly tears me apart, piece by piece, from the inside out. My greatest challenge isn't the longing itself, but the mask I wear to hide it. I practice the art of looking ‘fine,’ forcing a smile to ensure they never see the cracks.
But there are days when the dam breaks. There are moments when the emotions I’ve buried become too heavy to hold, and I am reminded of one day in particular. It wasn’t a special day, nor a perfect one—it was simply the day I finally felt truly helpless. It was the day I broke, and for the first time, let the waves of my own unspoken love pull me under."