Will I ever be enough in ballet?
Hey there, so I know this a long talked about subject, but I can't help asking it again. Yes, I know the short answer is no, no matter what you do you will never be "enough" but I know many, many dancer's feel this way so I wanting to some more prospective from others who may understand.
For context, I'm 17F, I've been dancing since I was like 4, and I am training Pre-Professional at a smaller-ish company. I would say I'm one of the top of my class, but not THE best. For Summer Intensives, I got into all of NSIA (one scholorship) got into Ellison, ABT Collegiate, but rejected from Houston. However, everyone tells me I'm good, good on stage and in class, but how much longer will my "good" be good enough? Last year, I thought if I checked off the things on my little boxs, consistent double pirrouette, consistent beats, higher jumps, longer balance I would be more accomplished and, even, happier. I had set goals like everyone says to do, and I feel that I have in fact acconplished those goals. Why then doesn't it feel enough? Why do I feel like crying after class even though class was fine? Is it because fine isn't good enough or is it because my fine was someone's off day and I'm not trying hard enough I'm not pushing myself enough.
I feel sad, frustrated and just an overwhelming sense of worthlessness. I would just like some people's thoughts and advice in this subject since I know its something a lot of dancer's deal with.