u/Fabiohasaquestion

Im 26 and serving at a very small church where a few teens and the rest are older adults there really aren’t any women my age there.

Theres one girl (16) on the worship team who keeps looking at me a lot during services. Its not just random, there have been multiple times where she looks at me, I look back, we kind of lock eyes for a moment and then both look away. She also tends to sit somewhere in my line of sight. Its been happening consistently enough that I feel like its intentional and Im starting to think she might have a crush on me.

That already makes me uncomfortable but whats harder for me to admit is my own reaction. I’ve been feeling really lonely my life is basically just church and home every week and I’ve never properly dated or had a real relationship. My family was very overprotective growing up so I never really developed that part of my life.

Because of that I catch myself actually liking the attention. I even find myself thinking about her after I get home and that honestly disturbs me. Even thinking if this might work if it were to happen. I know clearly this would be wrong and I dont want anything inappropriate at all. But the fact that part of me is drawn to the attention makes me feel ashamed.

Since the church is so small, I cant really avoid her completely or just step away from serving.

I know the Bible says God provides a way out of temptation but I dont know what that looks like in a situation like this. How do I actually “escape” this in a practical sense?

Should I actively avoid eye contact and distance myself? Should I talk to my pastor or another trusted adult even though I feel like they might not understand? And how do I even pray about this honestly without just feeling guilt and shame?

I really want to handle this in a way that honors God and protects everyone involved. I’d really appreciate honest, biblical advice.

Im 26 and serving at a very small church where a few teens and the rest are older adults there really aren’t any women my age there.

Theres one girl (16) on the worship team who keeps looking at me a lot during services. Its not just random, there have been multiple times where she looks at me, I look back, we kind of lock eyes for a moment and then both look away. She also tends to sit somewhere in my line of sight. Its been happening consistently enough that I feel like its intentional and Im starting to think she might have a crush on me.

That already makes me uncomfortable but whats harder for me to admit is my own reaction. I’ve been feeling really lonely my life is basically just church and home every week and I’ve never properly dated or had a real relationship. My family was very overprotective growing up so I never really developed that part of my life.

Because of that I catch myself actually liking the attention. I even find myself thinking about her after I get home and that honestly disturbs me. Even thinking if this might work if it were to happen. I know clearly this would be wrong and I dont want anything inappropriate at all. But the fact that part of me is drawn to the attention makes me feel ashamed.

Since the church is so small, I cant really avoid her completely or just step away from serving.

I know the Bible says God provides a way out of temptation but I dont know what that looks like in a situation like this. How do I actually “escape” this in a practical sense?

Should I actively avoid eye contact and distance myself? Should I talk to my pastor or another trusted adult even though I feel like they might not understand? And how do I even pray about this honestly without just feeling guilt and shame?

I really want to handle this in a way that honors God and protects everyone involved. I’d really appreciate honest, biblical advice.

Edit#1: Sorry, I should clarify what I meant by “serving.” I help in the sound booth... so its more of a technical/volunteer role. Im not in any position of authority over the youth and I havent gone to Bible school (though Im considering it for my future) I have shared my testimony before and once gave a short message about fasting but I wouldnt consider myself in any kind of leadership role. I just wanted to make that clear so the situation isn’t misunderstood.

Edit#2: Thank you everyone for your messages, I have decided to tell the pastor if this goes on any further until then I ignore her when she looks.

Im 26 and serving at a very small church where a few teens and the rest are older adults there really aren’t any women my age there.

Theres one girl (16) on the worship team who keeps looking at me a lot during services. Its not just random, there have been multiple times where she looks at me, I look back, we kind of lock eyes for a moment and then both look away. She also tends to sit somewhere in my line of sight. Its been happening consistently enough that I feel like its intentional and Im starting to think she might have a crush on me.

That already makes me uncomfortable but whats harder for me to admit is my own reaction. I’ve been feeling really lonely my life is basically just church and home every week and I’ve never properly dated or had a real relationship. My family was very overprotective growing up so I never really developed that part of my life.

Because of that I catch myself actually liking the attention. I even find myself thinking about her after I get home and that honestly disturbs me. Even thinking if this might work if it were to happen. I know clearly this would be wrong and I dont want anything inappropriate at all. But the fact that part of me is drawn to the attention makes me feel ashamed.

Since the church is so small, I cant really avoid her completely or just step away from serving.

I know the Bible says God provides a way out of temptation but I dont know what that looks like in a situation like this. How do I actually “escape” this in a practical sense?

Should I actively avoid eye contact and distance myself? Should I talk to my pastor or another trusted adult even though I feel like they might not understand? And how do I even pray about this honestly without just feeling guilt and shame?

I really want to handle this in a way that honors God and protects everyone involved. I’d really appreciate honest, biblical advice.

Edit: Sorry, I should clarify what I meant by “serving.” I help in the sound booth... so its more of a technical/volunteer role. Im not in any position of authority over the youth and I havent gone to Bible school (though Im considering it for my future) I have shared my testimony before and once gave a short message about fasting but I wouldnt consider myself in any kind of leadership role. I just wanted to make that clear so the situation isn’t misunderstood.