I have a friend “Sara” who I have known for about 8 years (both 36F). We met at our gym and grew a good friend group there. During COVID she separated from her husband and is now divorced. Her and I would go out for dinners or walks and I would listen to what she was going through and be there to try to support her through her separation. For context, I think her husband cheated on her and was gaslighting her into thinking she was crazy while he acted distant.
After they had first separated, she started hooking up with one of the guys in our group, who is 60+, “Andy”. Not long after they were together, another girl from our group started perusing this guy, she is early 30’s “Jen”. Andy and Jen started to hookup and Andy tried to keep Sara close but Jen didn’t like that. I think Jen was suspicious of something happening between Sara and Andy. Jen also tried to keep Sara close until she ‘won’ Andy. When Sara found out about the two of them she stepped back from both of them and didn’t want to be involved. Things went south when Jen found out about Sara and Andy, she blackmailed her into staying away by saying she was going to tell everyone she was cheating on her husband, even though they were separated and living apart at this time. Sara hadn’t done anything wrong, Jen and Andy were not together at the time, Jen was jealous and insecure and sending Sara texts bullying her and making her feel bad. Andy tried to accuse Sara of ‘making things weird’ yet even at parties after some drinks would hit on her even with Jen in the room. Sara ultimately stopped hanging out and coming to the gym altogether.
The friend group doesn’t hang out as often, although we do keep our group text and see each other at various events. I continue to see Sara about once a month for dinner to catchup. Here’s where I need some advice, dinner always starts off great until near the end before we are about to pay and leave. It starts with her divorce, then it moves to the love triangle and there is tears and the same stories repeated from the last time. I’ve been there, every time to hear her out – but we are going on over two years of the same loop and it’s got to the point where going for dinner feels like a task now, I sit there listening to the same story on repeat. I want to be there for her, I want her to be in a better place, but it is getting harder to want to meet up with her. Am I being mean here or is there something I should say?