Ok so this might not make a lot of sense and im not referring to "how important is highschool" from an like "oh i dont wanna study " pov.Im talking about my teachers, the extra activities organised by the school, life experiences etc.(also i wanna apologise for my poor writing skills and long paragraphs but idk who to talk to about this since idk how serious is this and also its kinda late)
So im from romania and i wanna admit the education system is kinda trash but whatever.I wanna know how important are highschool teachers and the "school organised" trips or like fairs or just the hole "highschool" activites. Im not an amazing student im average.I have friends.3 friends from other highschools and a few in my class and my theatre club and a few from my volunteering ong.
But my teachers are absolutely trash and im scared that because of that i cant reach my potatial since i need support and external motivation to reach goals otherwise im overthinking and burning out very quickly and idk what to do.And also im really scared.Im in my first year of highschool and im starting to get scared for my future. Everything is so unstable now i dont know what im gonna do or how my future is gonna look like. Are we all gonna die?Is my passion gonna die too?Do i even have passion? What the heck is happening?Is my highshcool academic experience that important?Are my teachers actually gonna influence me for the worse?Am i just over reacting?
Im also deeply anxious about not having my passions figured out.Like i keep seeing everyone around me having …something they deeply wanna pursue.But me?Im just…a mix of everything and nothing.Yeah i like drawing and painting but im not good.I do enjoying singing but have i ever took singing lessons?Yes but i quit at 11.Do i like biology?IM not even sure anymore aftery my teachers poor teaching skills that took away my love for it.
I ve been thinking about transferring schools for the sole reason of some (2 important ones) poor teachers and the lack of implication from the principal and student council.But idk if thats a good enough reason since i have pretty good friends here.Also the fact that till 11th grade i start school at 13:30 pm and get home at 8 pm.Its exhausting.
I dont know Whats happening to me.I have great friends i hang out with them in the weekends but i cant sometimes be jealous of their highschool life and kinda be scared for mine. Like idk i feel like im not good enough and im truly really scared anout my future even tho i have a good family and friends.
I feel like i have no time and time is gonna pass right by me and idk if im doing anything right and im not doing enough,even tho i think im just starting.Im in the theatre club but we re not doing much like in the us like big plays or smth like that.Im hanging out with my friends,watching shows i also started volunteering for a thing that makes charitable events to donate money .But it still doesnt feels enough.
Im just really scared if im gonnab regret any of my decisions and im gonna live with that firever.I dont wanna grow but i hate being like this.