u/FIRE_throwaway89

Context: Wife and I are both 36, two kids (4 and 2), MCOL trending to lower HCOL, both in tech. Relatively late to FIRE — didn't really start thinking this way until our early or even middle 30s.

Income (combined gross ~$300k):

• Me: ~$120k base + bonus
• Wife: ~$155-160k base + bonus
• Monthly trust: $2,851 tax-free, +3%/year until age 50

Trust distributions (NOT taxable income, structured into the trust):

• Age 40 (~40 months out): $750k
• Age 50: $1M
• Age 60: $1.3M

Expected but uncounted: Likely inheritances from both sets of parents at some point — high-six to low-seven figures from each side. Not modeled.

Current assets:

• Taxable brokerage: $460k
• Retirement (Roth IRAs + spouse 401k): ~$250k
• HSA: ~$15k; 529s ~$10k each
• Cash + BIL: ~$22-25k (lean by design; trust monthly is the backstop)
• Home: $750k purchase, ~$530k left @ 4.99% fixed
• Two paid-off vehicles, paid-off trailer, no other debt
• Spending ~$12k/month; savings rate ~43%

Realistic trajectory: Even on conservative assumptions, wealth trajectory points to $10-20M by our 60s once trust distributions land and probable inheritances arrive. Math says barista FIRE is feasible at 40, chubby in baseline at 45, and fat is more a function of how long we work in our 40s than whether we eventually arrive at all. Projection Lab returns 98-100% Monte Carlo on baseline — not looking for plan validation, already done that work.

The question:

For people who pushed past chubby into fat by working an extra 2-7 years in their 40s — was it worth it in lived experience, or did your lifestyle never expand enough to use the additional spending capacity?

Specifically:

• What did the gap between chubby and fat actually translate to in daily life? More travel, bigger home, less anxiety, more giving, something else entirely?
• For people who pushed for fat and got it: glad you did, or wish you'd stopped earlier and lived in the spending you already had?
• For people who hit fat while kids were still home vs. after they launched: did the extra spending capacity matter more or less with kids in the picture?

My hunch is that once we hit our chubby number, work pressure drops and a few more years isn't taxing — which would make pushing for fat low-cost. But that's a prediction, not experience. Would love to hear from people who actually navigated this rather than modeled it.

Happy to answer questions in comments.

Throwaway account for privacy.

Context: Wife and I are both 36, two kids (4 and 2), MCOL trending to lower HCOL, both work in tech. We're relatively late to the FIRE game — didn't really start thinking this way until our early 30s — which is why our numbers aren't where someone who started at 25 would be. Being fully transparent about the trust distributions up front so the math makes sense to people. Been using Projection Lab for models and projections.

Income (combined gross ~$300k):

• Me: ~$120k base + bonus
• Wife: ~$155-160k base + bonus
• Monthly trust: $2,851 tax-free, +3%/year until age 50

Trust structure: Three lump distributions, not treated as taxable income (structured into the trust):

• Age 40: $750k
• Age 50: $1M
• Age 60: $1.3M

Expected but explicitly uncounted: Likely inheritances from both sets of parents eventually, probably high-six to low-seven figures from each side. Timing unknown, deliberately not modeled in any of our planning. I've also not modeled any Social Security income, though I guess I should model like half of what we'd expect just to see.

Current assets:

• Taxable brokerage: $460k
• Retirement accounts (Roth IRAs + spouse 401k): ~$250k
• Small HSA (like 15k) and 529s for the kids (like 10k each right now)
• Cash + BIL buffer: ~$22-25k (lean by design; trust monthly is our backstop)
• Home: bought 750k,mortgage with around 530k left at 4.99% fixed
• Two paid-off vehicles, paid-off travel trailer
• No student loans
• No other loans; we pay off credit cards each month

Spending: ~$12k/month. Mortgage $3,247, childcare $2,300, discretionary base ~$6,500. Childcare line collapses in 2-3 years as kids age into public school. Savings rate ~43% on take-home + retirement contributions + employer match.

The plan: Barista FIRE is mathematically feasible at 40 (trust distribution + portfolio + light part-time income covers our number at ~3% withdrawal). Each additional year of full-time work past 40 stacks margin and pushes us deeper into chubby/fat territory. Modeled in Projection Lab; baseline returns 98-100% Monte Carlo success. Not looking for plan validation — already done that work and feel pretty good about it even when modeling somewhat paltry (historically speaking) returns.

What I'd actually love thoughts on:

1. Healthcare bridge to Medicare. For families of four in ChubbyFIRE territory: what are you actually paying on ACA marketplace at $80-120k MAGI? With substantial non-taxable income flowing through the trust, I think we have real MAGI management flexibility around subsidy thresholds — but I'd love to hear how people have made this work and if anyone has ideas based on our situation.

2. Part-time work as a psychological bridge. Math doesn't require it, but I'm drawn to something like REI part-time post-FIRE — coverage, gear discount (I'm into ultra running and mountaineering), light structure, somewhere to be a few days a week. Feels less jarring than jumping straight off. For people who've done this: did it work the way you hoped, or did it just feel like staying at work? Did it last as a phase or settle into something longer-term?

3. Chubby-to-fat trade-off on working longer. For people who pushed past their chubby number to land at fat by working an extra 2-5 years: was the additional spending capacity actually worth the working years, or did lifestyle not expand to use it? Conversely, for people who pulled the trigger at chubby: any regrets, and in what scenarios? What did the gap actually translate to in lived daily reality?

I have a feeling that once we hit our number or get close to it, we might feel so little pressure at work that it won't be as taxing, and thus could work a bit longer to get into fat territory.

4. Lived experience FIRE-ing while kids are still in school. This is the one I most want perspective on. We'd likely be retiring while our kids are roughly 4th and 6th grade. What did that look like for you? Did the "no job" thing land with your kids differently than expected? Any social or identity weirdness in their school communities? In retrospect, did you regret retiring before they were teens, or was it the best decision you made?

Happy to answer questions in the comments. Trying to learn from people who've actually walked this rather than running more spreadsheets.