Ok so I’ll start by saying it was just a minor accident and noone was hurt thankfully.
The last few days, I’ve been affirming “thank you”. Just thank you. Over and over.
Sometimes robotically but not necessarily obsessively.
And not to get anything specific. Just to stop my mind from wondering. And it doesn’t create any resistance for me.
And as it happens, I started to notice just how many negative thoughts pop up and how much meaning I give to the 3D.
Sometime today, the thank you turned into “thank you, I love you”. Can’t tell you why or what promoted it.
So today I’m driving along, in traffic. I tend to get a bit of road rage and have no patience for traffic. And as I’m driving, slowly, a car in the lane next to me pulled out in front of me.
No indicator and definitely not enough space for them to get it. It was abrupt so I had no choice but to hit the brakes and let them in. Well there’s always a choice but safety first right :D. Anyway, my immediate thoughts were “are you stupid” and some other things to that effect.
Now this car that pulled in front of me, a silver car, wasn’t even moving with the traffic, leaving massive gaps in front of them - another thing that drives me mad in traffic. So then another car (red) came and pulled in front of them.
At this point I’m thinking “why cut in if you’re not even going to move” and perhaps some insulting things.
And again, the red car, leaving big ass gaps in front of them. I was annoyed and I just remember NOT WANTING THESE TWO CARS IN FRONT OF ME. It wasn’t a deep or concise thought, or something I focused on. Just a fleeting feeling.
My road rage is not always sensible nor rational, I know this, but let’s leave that to the side :)
So I told myself to chill and I just went back to my “thank you, I love you”. It was easy, not in a desperate way to calm down, just went back to it naturally as a thing I’ve been doing this week. Thank you I love you.
Then, within minutes, seconds, I duno, the gaps between these cars closed.
And the silver car bumped straight into the red car. Twice.
As I said, we were driving slow as there was some traffic, so no one was hurt but was enough they had to stop.
I was like “oh shit” but didn’t have many other thoughts or feeling or anything. Just put my indicator so I could move around them, got back in the lane in front of the red car and continued on my way.
It was in that moment that I realised how I just didn’t want them in front of me.. and now they weren’t.
I gave a little smile to myself and said thank you.