anxiety ramble, advice?
I do not have a formal anxiety diagnosis but for the last couple years have struggled pretty heavily with it.
I am mostly fine in social situations but definetely like to have a drink to ease the friction unless it’s with a close friend.
Weed used to help me a lot as it does better when you’re younger (i feel anyway) i’m 22m.
Now weed just kinda gives me a heavy chest and i don’t want to do anything while i’m high.
Any chance i get to get my hands on valium i will take it (no black market stuff or anything just if someone has a script and wants to lend me one.)
I have also told the doctors about “plane trips” in order to get a very short supply of valium when i’m really stressed out.
I have been to therapy and have been on pristiq for about 3 months now which i think has subtly helped my general feelings of depression but the anxiety and panic i get often punches straight through it.
I had a kind of sad realisation last night when I had my last 10mg of valium.
I just remember thinking.
“i actually feel like myself right now”
it sounds horrible that i feel i need something like that to be myself but it is a genuine feeling that i had.
I have a referral to a psychiatrist who could potentially get me a benzo script if i wanted to go down that route but have been a bit worried about the amount it will cost me to have all these appointments and not be guaranteed any help.
For reference, i eat clean, regularly weight train and am in pretty much the best shape of my life i just can’t seem to shake this general angst that i have almost every day.
I don’t know if anyone will read this but if you have a similar experience and if anything has worked for you could you let me know.
Do i go down the benzo route or just give it time and keep trying to stay healthy .