u/External-Attempt-893

(possible trigger warning ahead - I describe the feelings I had while being sedated/drugged)

I've never done any drugs. But recently I had a necessary colonoscopy for which I was sedated. Medical consent forms make me very anxious so if I need to agree anyway I just sign them without reading so I don't panic. I always politely ask my doctor/nurse if there is anything I need to do before the procedure and I admit that I'm too scared to read the info.

The point is I didn't know what drug would be used for anesthesia, it didn't even cross my mind to check that. I had one surgery and I remember just falling asleep and waking up nauseous. And whatever stuff my dentist uses just makes me numb and I hate it.

But this time I was very surprised. I felt extremely good, it was like a floating feeling without any worries or pain. I wasn't even aware I was asleep. I just didn't notice anything around me and I was very happy. The euphoria and calm lasted even after the procedure. Not as intense but for a good few hours after coming home. There was no sudden crash, I just slowly blended back into my regular self. 

I was really confused why I felt that way. I checked the medical documents and the name of the drug they sedated me with (starts with Fe, not sure I should name it fully). 

It's been a few months since the procedure. It comes to my mind at random times. I guess I miss the feeling. Sometimes I daydream about it. I look forward to the next colonoscopy (4-5 years from now unless something sudden happens). 

I never understood what draws people to drugs and now I think I do.

Am I addicted? Is that even possible after one time? The thought makes me angry for some reason. I haven't tried seeking it out but there is some temptation from time to time. Fortunately, I wouldn't even know where to look.