Brother Had Success With IVF but Constantly Complains About the Costs
My brother recently had a baby through IVF. Despite the challenges, they only needed one ER and got pregnant on the third transfer.
I’ve been doing IVF for 3 years. I’ve gone through 9 IVF cycles with my own eggs and one with donor eggs. I have never been pregnant and still have not had success. He knows I’ve done several IVF cycles (although he doesn’t know exactly how many) and that I’m still in the process.
Well... ever since they found out about the pregnancy, he hasn’t stopped talking about how much money this baby has already cost him. He likes to joke that the baby “was born already owing him money.” Besides being insensitive toward my nephew, those comments hurt me deeply as well.
I have probably spent five times more than he has and still don’t have my baby... and honestly, I don’t even care about the money anymore. I would give everything I have to have this child.
I just needed to vent and remind those who have already had success: please don’t be insensitive toward people who are still going through infertility and IVF.
Edit for more information:
- My brother earns more than I do. In my country, insurance does not cover IVF costs, EVERYTHING is paid out of pocket.
- He underwent IVF using eggs frozen by my SIL, so I believe he did not have to pay for the egg retrieval. Only for the fertilization, embryo testing, and transfer.
- He knows I went through 5 egg retrievals, but he does not know that I went through four more and paid for donor eggs.
My issue is not really about him complaining about the expenses themselves. It’s that he is complaining about something he paid for and that worked for him, while I paid for it and it didn’t work for me. I honestly find that insensitive.