I’m at a major crossroads in my life right now. Currently a founder in the middle of registering my own company and preparing for a cross-city move. On paper, things are moving forward, but internally, I am being crushed by the invisible weight of it all.
Lately, I’ve fallen into a deep hole: Delta Force.
I’m playing it like an addict. I know it’s a "mental anesthetic." I know my body is in physical pain from the lack of sleep and the constant tension. I feel the discomfort, the burnout, and the guilt, but I simply cannot stop.
It feels like my brain is choosing the "guaranteed wins" and instant dopamine of the game over the massive uncertainty of my startup and the chaos of moving. Back in school, I used to obsessively clean my room or reorganize my PC to avoid studying for exams—but this is on a whole different level. It’s no longer about a clean desk; it’s about numbing myself so I don't have to face the fear of the next chapter.
I’m reaching out because I need to know:
- Has any other founder gone through this "paralysis by gaming" phase during a high-pressure transition?
- How did you break the cycle when your body was screaming at you to stop, but your brain was terrified of reality?
- Any advice on how to transition from "survival mode" back to "founder mode"?
I feel like I’m losing control of the very thing I’m trying to build. Any perspective would be appreciated.