I was officially diagnosed at hematologist appointment on Christmas Eve 2025.
I already had a very small circle but had close people I could rely on & was close to.
I’ve dealt with an other issues over the year due to complex trauma and Graves’ disease in recent years.
Since this my own sibling has not made any concerns to have me visit my nieces who I had maintained a very close connection with over the years . I haven’t seen them since Christmas and they are always busy .
My closest
Friend also took this time (over my birthday too) to distance herself when I asked her to meet me halfway (usually I drove to visit her ) and apparently she had been harbouring some issues with me that she decided to share now .
I am not married so the few close connections I do have are meaningful to me . I can’t express how sad it makes me feel that the closest
People to
Me feel no desire to spend more time
With me rather than distance?
My sister is a nurse and straightforward, so she said she had a patient who had CLL for 12 years without treatment. I do
Not believe I’m in that same category due to my underlying conditions , overall health and high ACEs score.
I feel mostly numb about this , but quite devasted too.
Anyways , I decided I will be taking a solo trip tomorrow while I am still
Somewhat well and experience a change of scenery, as well as be around a new language .
It’s also making me question how to foster more connections . At this point , it doesn’t even feel I would be missed by anyone .