next week will be exactly 24 months since my last drink and it still feels strange sometimes
alcohol is literally everywhere - beer at barbecues, wine with dinner, cocktails when hanging out, shots on random weeknights when someone suggests it. i always assumed drinking would be part of my routine forever since it's just what everyone does. never imagined i would get sick of the whole cycle of going out, getting messy, following wherever the evening led without any real plan except dealing with hangovers later
i didn't crash and burn or need people staging some big intervention. wasn't showing up to work wasted or reaching for bottles first thing in morning. except for few stupid mistakes, i was the "entertaining drunk" who just couldn't call it quits. probably 75% of times when i was drinking and everyone else was wrapping up or getting coffee after few rounds, i was still hunting for next drink. had this compulsion to extend the fun even when party was clearly ending. resulted in lots of solo drinking sessions and this nagging sense that drinking wasn't giving me anything new anymore
if you read this far, appreciate it even if you just keep scrolling. want to mention one more thing though and it's really the main point for me
there's good reason why drinking is woven in our social fabric. met tons of people while out and made some incredible memories. several of my best friendships started over great wine or sharing beer after tough cycling session. but some of us simply can't stop once we begin drinking and that's really frustrating
it's frustrating because we're not complete disasters - we exist somewhere in middle. almost wish you were at one extreme or other so you wouldn't get those confused reactions when you