Idk what to do rn - Sec 4 O levels 2025
Sometimes i feel so fucking shit about myself because im already sec 4 and still failing subjects especially amath and poa. Then i see people around me crying over c5s and being disappointed over b4s because they studied damn hard for it, and i know their feelings are valid, but at the same time it makes me feel even worse about myself.
Like these people are upset over passing while im here getting f9s and feeling numb to it already. Thats the part that scares me the most. I used to care so much. Back in sec 2 i studied damn hard, got top in level and multiple other subjects, actually had goals and wanted to make my parents proud. Now i just feel like a completely different person.
Ever since sec 3 my results have been getting worse and worse, f9s for amath consistently(weirdly enough my emath was always A1/A2) and i genuinely lost all motivation to study properly(partially due to the insane academic gap i saw between my peers and i during the first few WAs). My L1R5 is like 20+ and i want to go jc so badly but honestly i feel so fucking cooked. I keep thinking about how disappointed my sec 2 self would be if he saw me now.
The guilt is damn horrible also because my parents paid for tuition and everything and i still end up with subpar results. Sometimes i feel like im wasting their money and wasting my own potential.
Recently ive been trying to study more, like maybe 1 or 2 hours on weekdays and 4 or 5 hours on weekends, but i honestly cannot tell whether im actually studying or just pretending to study. I feel scared shitless for o levels because everyone around me seems to have their life together while im here struggling to even stay motivated.
Dont know if anyone else here went through this before but i genuinely feel so lost