u/Exciting-Media-6998

I have symptoms all over my body and no diagnosis.. workers comp is trying to get me to settle before seeing a specialist. But I have pain, clenched jaw, numbness, tingling, shocks, fiber glass or prickles all over my legs and arms, ants crawling on my bones, incontinence, migraines, blood pressure and heart rate spiked/drops... The list goes on. I had so many plans before this.. I was actually enrolled in college again after a few years away and had to withdraw because I couldn't pay for classes on workers comp salary.. I don't even think I could sit at a desk and read anyways.. it would kill my neck. I wanted to go for dental hygiene. I can't be a dental hygienist like this.. I looked for work from home jobs, but I can't sit at a computer all day.. I keep thinking about my options, things I think I could do, and realize I can't do them... I get depressed. My heart still believes I can do something, but my body is telling me I can't.. I can't even mow half my yard.. I feel useless. I can't even properly be a stay at home mom because I'm in too much pain to complete chores. On top of that, I kinda realized no one gives a shit about me after I invited almost 100 people (58 kids and their parents) to my daughter's birthday party and no one showed up. Just her grandparents, me and her dad, and 2 aunts and an uncle. 9 people. No kids. To a playground. No one reaches out. They blame their problems and say they're depressed. I cry every day, I still try to message people and check on them. Whatever. The whole point of this post is that I feel like I'm failing. As a wife and mother. I must be the reason my kids have no friends. I don't complain, unless someone asks, but I guess my answer is more than they were ready for..