Has anyone ever experienced parental alienation as the custodial parent?
My ex has always come to my house to see the kids(8 years, 6 months), coming every single day morning until night (he has no job), even staying often hours after they went to sleep to use my internet to watch movies/shows because he doesn’t have any at home. I never mentioned it and just let him. He’s unemployed and has been for years so I let him stay here during the day, eat the food I buy and cook, use my internet, and have full unrestricted access to our kids as much as he wanted. Then I found some stuff on an online fetish site that was quite concerning. I told him I no longer wanted him in my home but that I wouldn’t keep the kids away from him, and I haven’t. He left the country for 2 weeks and made no attempt to call to talk to our 8 year old at all. Today he takes her for the evening and when she gets back she’s against me, she is running from me, saying she’s mad at me, refusing to brush her teeth, refusing to go to bed, saying she doesn’t want to go to after school club anymore, which she previously loved. She is normally a very well behaved child. When he dropped her off he was recording, I could see on his phone as he held it. He was egging her on to become emotional and amp up her emotions, saying he wishes she could stay the night but I won’t let her. It’s Monday so she has school in the morning. He was also telling me to tell her what’s going on, that he doesn’t care how badly I talk about him, just explain it because he “tried to” and it “isn’t working.” Very obvious attempt to make me talk badly about him to/in front of her for his recording. He told her that I won’t let him come over anymore because I got mad at him, he told her that I’ll call the cops on him if he comes to our house, he told her it’s all on me. I didn’t say anything negative about him this evening or at all before this, I have never said anything negative about him to my kids. When he got back to the country a few days ago she was asking when he would come over and all I said was that he won’t be coming over but that she will see him soon. I also met up with him today while our oldest was in school so he could see the baby, but our son is exclusively breastfed so it’s not feasible for him to take him alone and he also doesn’t seem to care at all to fight for a relationship with him. Likely because he had no relationship/very little contact with our daughter for the first 3 years of her life, and it obviously didn’t affect their relationship because once he started coming around consistently he was able to build up the relationship and she doesn’t remember that time from 0-3 when he wasn’t around.