Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well. I recently started ADHD meds mainly because I just cannot function in structured environments. Started at 30mg and felt absolutely nothing. Doctor let me break open the capsules to try 45mg, still nothing. No side effects, appetite was fine, couldn't notice any changes whatsoever.
Then I got the green light to go up to 60mg. The first time I took it, I was genuinely struck by the silence and quietness in my head. I never really thought of myself as an impulsive person, but on 60mg I can actually notice it now. It's weird because when you've been living with something your entire life it's just who you are, you know? But now I can actually see the patterns. My brain constantly wants dopamine. I'm always the person who wants to play another game, always the pushover because my brain just wants more. It explains why I eat so fast and choke on my food multiple times a week.
The last couple of days on 60mg have been emotional. I feel like I'm discovering a different side of myself. I can actually listen to people and when they tell me a story I can genuinely feel what they're saying. I'm not waving my hands around trying to explain things, my voice is lower, I talk slower, and I can just sit on a phone call without pacing around the room like a madman.
Things just start happening automatically now. Cleaning, paying people back immediately. It's not willpower, it just happens. When I say "I'll do it later" now, I realize I could do it right now but I don't want to. That's different. When the ADHD brain says later, at least for me, it doesn't mean I don't want to do it. I've never known that feeling before. I just said later and didn't even know what that meant. Now I know what it feels like to not want to do a task, and honestly I can live with that. People deal with not wanting to do things every day.
My eyes aren't darting all over the place anymore. There's this weird sense of calm and peacefulness all over my body. I've had chronic back pain since I was 13 and that's just gone when I take this stuff.
I take it with breakfast because without food I feel terrible all day with high anxiety. The deeper breathing kicks in around 40 minutes later, then there's this urge to lay down and stretch with a tingly feeling in my limbs that lasts 5 to 10 minutes. About 30 to 35 minutes after that it fully kicks in and everything is just quiet. I can filter noise properly. I can listen to people talk while the TV is loud. I don't talk super loud in social settings because I can actually notice how loud I should be talking based on the room volume.
So that all sounds pretty good, right? But there are a few things worth noting:
*Only works for about 6 to 7 hours for me.
*I absolutely need to take it with breakfast or the day is awful.
*Doesn't really help with task initiation, which is one of my biggest problems.
*Just makes me kind of relaxed and want to lay down (might be because I just started, not sure)
*The effect varies day to day even at the same dose, hard to predict.
*There's this pressure feeling on my chest, maybe from muscles finally relaxing? No clue.
*I still have an appetite on 60mg, can still eat normally.
*I can still sleep even 2 to 3 hours after taking it, just lay down and pass out.
Does anyone else have similar experiences or advice? Would love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading!