You don’t love God enough
You’ve been afflicted by that sin for so long. You tried fighting and fleeing the temptation, but in the end, you always succumb to it. You regret each time, you pray asking forgiveness and that the Holy Spirit works on you the next time, but you’ve done it so many times you’re losing hope, asking yourself if God is even listening.
You ask yourself what’s wrong with you. Maybe you don’t fear God enough? Because that’s what you hear, that if you fear Him you’ll keep his commandments. But “fear” here is not about being afraid of hell, which you may be after falling into temptation. It’s about giving Him the respect He deserves.
Being afraid of hell may be a way to bring some people closer to God, but I don’t think it’s an effective way of keeping us there. We have a finite comprehension of things, so when we must choose, we choose sin instead of compliance, the immediate instead of the eternal. And after all, if it’s just about fear, can’t we just ask for forgiveness after every time we sin?
As we use the “word” fear in terms of being afraid too much, and as we think we have some respect for God, I think it’s better to switch the word “fear” for “love” in our brains. Fear, even in the “being respectful” sense, makes us afraid. Love compels us. “In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3, NIV).
God want to have an intimate relationship with you, not that you just don’t sin, and His first commandment is love: “Jesus replied: ‘“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment’” (Matthew 22:37,38, NIV). If you love Him this way, you’ll not only be compliant with His commandments, but improving your relationship with God: “You are my friends if you do what I command” (John 15:14, NIV). And it will not be a burdensome about resisting sin, as you’ll start to love being in obedience as the Spirit works: “Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long” (Psalms 119:97, NIV).
Next time you’re being tempted, I suggest you say to yourself: “I don’t love God enough”. Not as someone giving up, but as an acceptance of your own failure to correspond to God infinite and perfect love, and a challenge to love Him more. Think about how much He love us, about the Gospel and the sacrifice of Christ. By doing that, and praying, the Holy Spirit will compel your heart to lovingly obedience. These are your sword, shield and armor, given by God, to fight temptation instead of fleeing from it: “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (James 4:7, NIV).
Remember, it’s not a magical formula. You may still fall, but don’t give up. Keep thinkings in these terms, and your relationship with God and the way you see Him will get better as you think more about His love and mercy. Be patient with yourself, because in the end, His love for us is too big for us to fully assimilate. “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12, NIV). God bless.