I’m a pregnant first-time mom with a question for parents who’ve already been through the newborn/baby stage:
Do you think it’s better to try to establish routines/schedules early on, or better to mostly follow the baby’s cues and keep things more flexible?
I go back and forth in my head about this a lot and would genuinely love to hear different experiences. Please be kind, I’m learning. 😅
Hello! I am 29 years old and am pregnant for the first time. I apologize in advance for how long this is.
My husband I were TTC for about 2.5 years. It got to the point where I was losing a lot of hope and was thinking we were going to need a lot of testing and procedures and fertility treatments if we wanted it to happen. I started seeing a doctor who diagnosed me with PCOS. I was shocked, as I don’t “look” like how PCOS is usually portrayed. I had already started losing hope, but when I got that diagnosis, I lost even more. So I just stopped paying attention and stopped expecting it. My doctor suggested a GLP-1 and I was reallyyyyyy not thrilled with the idea, so I asked if there was anything else I could do, aside from lifestyle changes. He told me about Inositol. I read really mixed things. Some people had amazing experiences, and some people didn’t. I saw some people say it totally threw them off and gave them really long cycles.
So when my period was so late in March, that was exactly what I expected was happening. Beginning of April, I felt HORRIBLE. I honestly thought I was just sick. I was throwing up a ton (at one point 7 times a day) and couldn’t hold any food down. Even bone broth was making me vomit. My husband was terrified, said he had never seen me so sick, and said that if I wasn’t holding more food down by __, he was taking me to the hospital. It got better, but the food aversions persisted. I thought it was just my body recovering and that my appetite was off from that. But after a couple weeks, I was still struggling to want to eat a dang thing. I work from home, thankfully, and got really nauseous around lunch time one day while changing over laundry and immediately threw up then laid on the floor of my laundry room. It was a Thursday and I told myself that if I wasn’t better after the weekend, I was going to urgent care. I had placed a grocery pickup order earlier and with only a few minutes left in the window of time to add to the order, I decided to throw a 2 pack of pregnancy tests in. Now you might think “DUH” but truly, I still didn’t expect it so I figured it would just be to rule out pregnancy as an option. I worried I had some kind of intestinal infection or something.
I’m sure you know where this is going. I got home with the order later, took the test, walked away to let my dog in from outside, came back a minute later, and there were 2 lines. I had never in my life seen 2 lines. So I took the other test in the box and sure enough, 2 lines. My husband got home from work and I wanted to go to the store to grab another brand to try. Those were also positive.
By the next day, I was able to go to the hospital and get blood work, which confirmed it. My numbers were 136,786 mIU/mL for hCG, and 25.7 ng/mL for progesterone.
At the time I thought I was only about 4 weeks. But two days ago, it occurred to me that the math wasn’t mathing. I had marked in my period tracker app that I had a period start on March 17 but when I went to look, I had only actually marked one day myself and the app had assumed and filled in the additional 3 days. I remember there being one day where I thought my period was starting because I had some bleeding but then nothing more. I assumed once again that my body was out of whack from the inositol. And then it occurred to me that a week after that, I went downstate to visit family and was really frustrated that my period still hadn’t come. I packed a few pads and tampons and told myself I could always go to a store down there to get more. So if I’d had a period the week before, I wouldn’t have done that?! I had been in so much shock that when the doctor asked about my last period, I had just glanced at the app and said March 17, but in reality, after later thinking about it, I think it was actually February 15.
So I actually suspect I may be more like 10 weeks now. I feel like I’ve felt too good. The only real complaint I’ve had is some insomnia. Once the nausea and vomit stopped about 2 weeks ago, my appetite went nuts. I get hungry constantly, which is very out of the norm for me. My boobs are a little sore but nothing painful. I feel so good. And that worries me.
Prior to this, I had slightly inconsistent cycles. Some months my cycle could be 29 days, some could be 33, some could be 35. But my periods were like nothing. Minimal to no cramps, no heavy bleeding, a decent amount of brown blood as of my more recent periods. They just felt…underwhelming. And that worries me too. What does that say about my reproductive health?
My ultrasound isn’t until May 12. Which I know isn’t far away when you look at a calendar, but it’s felt like soooo long. I am anxious beyond belief about what I’ll find out. I imagine hearing the worst news. It’s hard for me to conceptualize this. After trying for as long as we did, how could it just like, happen on its own and be okay??
I realize that not a single person can tell me. Only an ultrasound can. But I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone else relates.
I want this so badly. More than anything ever before. I dream of this baby and who they will be and the life we will build as a new family. I can’t handle the thought of MC, but I’m also painfully aware how common it is.
🩷 if you made it this far, thanks for reading my book.