To paraphrase Rachel, is Dorit okay?
On the back of the various discussions of Dorit’s financial report, watching season 15, and having just read the recent texts messages between Dorit and PK, I have some thoughts and wanted to see what you all think.
**Note: I’d recommend reading the texts linked above for context before continuing reading.**
Dorit’s spending - as PK said - is very troubling, as was her complete refusal in the texts to address her expenditure for the sake of the children. It is quite astonishing that she spent almost 80% of her income on luxury goods for herself and less than 10% on the children/home. (At least in the period shown in the report.) IIRC, PK spent about 55% on the kids, even though his overall income was less than hers.
My concern with Dorit at the moment is that there could be a mental health component, specifically involving delusional thought processes. (I say this with no judgement and will explain further on.) I am worried that this is making an already taxing situation more complicated for her, and for others around her, to navigate. Since delusions are fixed, false beliefs that persist despite clear evidence to the contrary, they could make it hard to encourage her to listen to reason when it comes to her finances. Even if advice or warnings were to come from a financial advisor or lawyer.
To be clear, delusions are not exclusively linked to more serious conditions like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. They can also occur with significant psychological pressure, such as extreme stress or depression.
This would be understandable given the current stress of her divorce, and the profound trauma of the robbery. I don’t believe she was ever able to fully recover from the latter. For a start, PTSD can take many years to heal to a level that allows one to resume full functioning, even with the best help. Especially when the trauma involved a threat to life. Pre and post-robbery, the home environment seemed to have been very unsettled due to tension in the marriage and PK’s alcoholism. This would certainly have impeded or even halted her recovery, as trauma survivors need a secure, stable, and supportive environment. (I remember being grossed out when PK relabelled some of her PTSD symptoms as more just her being “obnoxious”. I’ll not go so far as to say she’s never obnoxious, but that was an utterly appalling thing for him to say. If he felt comfortable saying that on camera, God knows what else was said.)
I imagine being in the spotlight via the show whilst the robbery and divorce have unfolded has also added tremendous pressure, even if it is a source of income. I’m not a fan of Dorit at the moment as she has been so aggressive and unpleasant to watch this season. However, I have immense empathy for what she has been through and know from personal experience that PTSD changes you forever in ways you wouldn’t have imagined. It can change your personality, and ability to cope with future adversity - even after you thought you were fully recovered.
Unfortunately, if she is currently experiencing faulty logic resulting in unshakable false beliefs, addressing this with a mental health professional would be challenging, as she’d likely be unable to recognise or accept a need for help. We’ve already seen the negative response to her friends trying to offer practical assistance and advice.
For the sake of argument, if there isn’t a mental health issue and she had simply been lying about her finances during season 15, but was clearheaded (albeit stressed) in other areas such as friendships, that would be one thing. In that case I’d be inclined to think she was just playing stupid games with PK and trying to boost her public image during the divorce. (Don’t get me wrong, I still think there’s a bit of gaming going on with them both, I just don’t think it’s the full picture.)
However, she appears to be delusional about a lot of things in her life right now. Shutting down and shutting out anything negative as a protective reflex. This season has shown her to be increasingly paranoid and reactive, perceiving any feedback (neutral suggestions, as well as constructive criticism or real criticism) as an all-out attack that must be annihilated. Some of her responses to perceived criticisms have been so wild that it’s very difficult to argue the rationale. During reactive moments, it feels like she is having an entirely different conversation to the one the person talking to her is having. Transcribed, the dialogue wouldn’t match up at all, as she persistently deflects and redirects. That was particularly evident at the reunion and in her texts to PK.
The primary example of a false belief that comes to mind, is that since multiple friends have had issues with her for separate reasons, she’s reasoned (with no ounce of doubt) that Kyle has been “collecting minions” and actively turned everyone against her. When each individual has denied this and described their specific issue, in an effort to work through it, she’s not heard their words let alone taken them to heart. In her mind, any criticism is wholly unacceptable, so anyone who she feels is being critical is instantly the enemy and not worth listening to. Taking on any blame for issues in relationships is not feasible for her at the moment (a form of psychological protection) so she’s chosen to blame Kyle for everything in life that she can’t attribute blame to PK.
Based on some of their facial expressions near the end of the season and at the reunion, Boz and Rachel now seem to be struggling to fully endorse Dorit’s logic and manner. If they too start voicing concerns to her, she may cut them out and be completely alone. That would be a disaster for her wellbeing as she needs some support.
As I say, I strongly doubt she would even listen to financial advice from professionals at this point. I suspect PK will ultimately be put in the position of forcing a divorce settlement legally rather than voluntarily. Oddly, after previously being the one to raise the house’s potential foreclosure with PK, Dorit now doesn’t seem to be willing to do anything financially to prevent losing the house and curtailing their collective financial loss should it go into foreclosure. According to his text to her, she’s apparently also been looking at new houses that are way beyond her means. Maybe she believes he has more money than he does and expects him to pick up slack he’s unable to. Whatever happens with the house (their biggest asset), she deflected when he repeatedly asked her to contact the lawyer to discuss a financial agreement. I don’t understand her thinking on this or what she hopes to gain by dragging things out.
I also feel that if she had her wits about her, she’d have realised the truth of her finances would come out during or after the show. She’d have had the foresight to understand that claiming all season long she could afford to spend thousands per shopping spree, was a lie that would be uncovered since she’s in the midst of a very public divorce. She really went out of her way to propagate that lie too. This demonstrates she’s currently unable to view the big picture - past or future - and that she is in a turbulent state of only reacting to things as they crop up in the present.
Delusions do not come with a negative moral judgment, nor do they likely indicate a more serious health condition in this case. If that is what Dorit is experiencing, I have a lot of sympathy for her as it would indicate that things have truly taken a serious toll, and that should be treated with the weight it deserves. I just hope there is an avenue to some assistance and a good outcome for her and her family, both financially and health-wise.
P.s. My apologies, this post has become very Dorit-esque in its rambling length! 🤣