17 months TTC, normal cycles/ovulation confirmed, no luck. Feeling defeated but wanting to advocate for answers
Hi everyone, I’m looking for some support/advice and honestly just hoping to feel a little less alone in the TTC journey right now. Today was hard after AF showed up when I really thought this might finally be the cycle that sticks.
My husband and I are both 28 and have been TTC for about 17 months now. A few of those months were more relaxed because we needed a mental health break from how consuming TTC can become, but overall we’ve been consistently trying.
My cycles have always been pretty regular (26–29 days), and in February 2025 I started using the Mira hormone tracker to better understand what was going on with my cycles. Everything appears “normal”, ovulation is confirmed, hormones look within range, etc. I’ve been taking prenatals, trying to nourish my body, reduce stress, and do all the things you’re “supposed” to do… but I’ve still never seen a single positive test.
Back in December, my PCP referred me to a fertility clinic for testing, but then we had insurance changes and switched into the Kaiser network, and the original clinic doesn’t accept Kaiser. I finally met with a new PCP through Kaiser in mid-April and explained my concerns. She ordered some metabolic bloodwork, which came back mostly normal aside from slightly low alkaline phosphatase. She then referred me to OB/GYN.
What’s been frustrating is how long this process takes. She made it sound simple to get seen, but the first available appointment for this type of exam wasn’t until July. THREE more months of waiting with no answers. After AF started this morning, I checked again online and somehow found one opening in 4 days, which I immediately grabbed and am SO grateful for.
At this point, I know I want to pursue fertility testing/hormonal bloodwork and advocate for myself as best as I can. (My husband has an appointment scheduled with his PCP later this month to get his side of things checked out.)
After 17 months, I’m worried about being brushed off with another “just keep trying, it’ll happen.”
For anyone who’s been through this:
- What questions do you wish you had asked at your first fertility/OB appointment?
-What testing should I push for?
- Is there anything important I should bring with me or track ahead of time?
This process can feel so lonely, and the monthly disappointment spiral is honestly exhausting. I think I just needed to vent to people who understand & get a lil extra love & baby dust sent our way ❤️