u/Eton11

I made an in-depth post about this yesterday, but I’m not sure what my cat is wanting from me or if she is angry with me and it is driving me crazy. I gave her some time after the issue I had yesterday (tldr she grabs my hand and bites, had gotten used to doing so gently, and went harder last night), and went over to play on my Steam Deck and see if she would come over. She did, kept clawing at my Steam Deck and laying on it. I figured this meant she wanted attention, so I went to pet her and scratch around her neck, she kissed me. A few seconds later she grabs and bites me (albeit gently this time, like she was just putting my hand in her mouth and not really pushing at all with her teeth). This repeats two more times and I finally decided to stop petting her because her tail was speeding up, indicating she was overstimulated. Her tail slowed down, but as soon as it stopped she gently bit again. I figured she wants alone time, but she keeps trying to follow me. Is there some sort of cat behavior I’m missing here? If she’s bored and wanting to play, then why did she bite harder when I tried to get her to play yesterday? I’m so confused.

So before I got my cat, I used to work at the place I adopted her from. For reference, each time she bites me she grabs on hard like her claws and clamps as if she is putting down full force, even when she isn’t. She bit me twice, both times drawing blood, and I was curious as to why. I noticed she did it when I would pet her while she was grooming herself, and afterwards would lick me. Because of this and the tiny room she was in, I figured it was either just play aggression or annoyance at me bothering her while she was grooming. By the time I got her, she had eased up. She would still act as if she was biting full force, but her teeth would barely be against my skin at all. Today (while not grooming) she did it again with a little more force (still not enough to pierce skin, but enough to hurt) and I figured she was probably play biting since I hadn’t played with her yet. I also noticed a few times it looked like she was thinking about play biting me but fighting the urge. I grabbed her favorite toy and she literally played so hard that it broke, which I figured supported the idea that it was a play bite thing and she learned over time how to be more gentle with me. Tonight, she was grooming herself a bit while I was petting her, and she did it again at about the same level of pain. I figured she might be missing her toy so I tried to play with her under the covers, but nothing happened. As soon as I pulled my hand out of the covers, she grabbed it and bit even harder and longer. This time it seems like her claws pierced skin but teeth didn’t. Then I told her off like I would the dogs and she came over to cuddle (I wouldn’t let her after that).

I’m just really confused because we had been bonding really well. She almost always sleeps cuddled up next to me or on my chest, throws a meowing fit when I leave, and I thought it was sweet of her to recognize what hurts me and to go easier, but tonight it seemed like she was actually trying to pierce my skin. I find it weird that afterwards she always tries to lick or cuddle though? What could I be doing wrong? It hurts to think she would try to hurt me. But she learned how to go easier when play biting. I am going to sleep in a bed away from her today to hope it calms her down, since I might have been smothering her by being there 24/7