I(26f) ended things with my neurodivergent ex (25f) last week after a long stretch of being on and off. The first few days were tough, but now that some time has passed, I feel more at peace with the decision. I know I deserve a relationship that aligns better with what I’m looking for. I do believe she cared about me, but in the end, she wasn’t the right fit. One of the bigger issues was trust, she went behind my back and looked through my phone (journals too) and it turned into an argument over messages between a girl from before we were together.
I can understand why she might feel the urge to look through my phone after seven months together, but getting upset over things from before we were even together doesn’t feel fair. She also started criticizing my friends, saying they weren’t good enough for her and that if things got more serious, she wouldn’t be okay with me staying close to them since one of them who wasn’t rlly my friend (she’s hispanic) slipped up while we were drunk and said the n word (since she grew up in the hood she says it :/) but i rarely ever heard her say it since I let her know i wasn’t a fan of it and one other isn’t political so it’s a big issue for my ex. I’m looking for a partner who’s ready to take the next step and move out together, someone willing to share responsibilities though realistically, I’ll be covering most of the expenses.
Part of me has considered the idea of getting back together, but only with clearer boundaries so we could both focus on our own lives instead of being so consumed by the relationship. At the same time, I question whether going back would mean settling. I’ve thought about meeting new people to see if i can be treated the way i’m looking for but that idea doesn’t feel great either. Dating can feel draining and not everyone approaches it with the same intentions or kindness. I want her 😕 but my family and friends say i deserve better