I think I’ve hit a weird point with Apex and I’m not sure what to make of it.
I’m around 700 hours in, currently Plat 1, right on the edge of Diamond. On paper, I know I could probably grind it out this split if I really tried. But the problem is… I suddenly feel like I’ve lost all motivation.
When I queue now, I’m not really “playing” anymore. I just kind of walk around, don’t think, don’t make decisions, and eventually my teammates go down and we’re back in the lobby. It’s like my brain just checked out. I used to care about improving, positioning, taking fights properly, but now it all feels empty.
At the same time, I’m starting to question things more deeply. I think part of me always wanted to believe I had some kind of “talent” for the game — like I’d stand out or climb faster than most people. But now that I’m here, close to Diamond but not quite there, it feels like maybe I’m just… average. And that kind of hits harder than I expected.
So now I’m stuck between two thoughts:
- Part of me says: “Just push for Diamond, you’re right there.”
- The other part says: “Why am I even doing this? Even if I hit it, will it feel like anything?”
And it’s not just Apex — it kind of feels like nothing is really fun right now. Which makes me wonder if I’m just burned out, or if this is one of those moments where I should step back and focus more on real life instead of forcing something that doesn’t feel meaningful anymore.
Has anyone else gone through something like this?