TLDR; WHAT IS ROMANCE and can you explain it without repeating some variation of "romance? I think i may land on the spectrum but I don't fully understand it and I don't want to claim something that isn't fair or accurate.
No seriously, what is AroAce? I know people who are perfectly happy to spend their entire lives living alone, never having any sexual or even remotely romantic experience. I also know people who are AroAce who date and are exclusive, are very cudly and affectionate with their partner, buy them gifts, and do occasional phyically intimate things (hand holding, kissing, cuddling, sex) even if it is rare. I get that people aren't a monolith, but how do you know if you're actually aroace then?
I think I understand Asexual; basically sex is low to no priority in a relationship, and if it does happen, it's rare, out of curiosity, or sometimes to make the other person happy (I guess?) depending on the AroAce individual. Likewise, some people still like kissing or physical gestures, but typically as a general rule if someone tells you they are asexual they are either really selective about sex/sexual act, or they outright do not like/want it, possibly ever.
And then there is Aromantic. If someone could define romance without using variations of the word "romance" in your answer I will name the next duck after you (did you know you can just name ducks? Nobody will try and stop you, because they will never know, but you'll know). Anyways, what is aromantic? If I were to live with my best friend, and I was their best friend who I trust and feel safe with, and bought them gifts, cooked for them, and we consistantly hung out all the time and basically acted like an exclusive couple indefinitely is that not romantic? Is dating not inherently romantic? What about hypothetically a long walk on the beach at sunset after eating at a fancy michelin star resturaunt and then going back to our apartment where we build a pillow fort, I cook them their favorite dessert, and we watch a horror movie together in it? Is that romantic, or can an aromantic person be comfortable doing that? If they can what is the difference between those two words-isn't the distinction arbitrary?
I'm asking because I think I land somewhere on the aroace spectrum but I don't want to claim something that isn't mine to claim, or cause confusion down the road for anybody. I've always found it impossible for me personally to draw the lines on a "romantic" relationship and a "platonic" best friendship since in the best friendships I have had, the only adjustment I could think of making is spending more time together, and I don't generally feel anything around sex (though kissing and cuddling can be nice, but I'd only ever do that with someone I am really comfortable around). Like dating vs hangouts, best friend vs partner, love romantic vs platonic, I mean at a certain closeness in a relationship it's two sides of the same coin right? And if AroAce is broad enough to include the two examples I gave in the first paragraph, then again what is the distinction?