I just finished the manga and my brain is still spinning
SPOILER ALERT FOR ANYONE WHO HASN'T FINISHED READING THE MANGA YET.
I started the manga knowing almost nothing, drawn in by its reputation in the manga community. Despite all the comments I'd read, I managed to avoid pretty much every spoiler. The only thing I knew was that at some point the protagonist ends up alone for 10,000 years, but not knowing the context, I didn't worry too much about it. Honestly, that detail was actually what drew me in completely - I kept wondering: what kind of story could possibly lead to something of that magnitude? And I wanted to read a story with broad thematic scope and a grand timeline, featuring a great protagonist and mysteries to uncover.
Beyond those big expectations, I expected a story with conventional tropes: anthropomorphic gem warriors fighting invaders from the Moon, a main character who starts weak but grows and gains experience, cute dynamics between characters, lots of emotional moments, tears and smiles, maybe even a nice ship or two. Did I get all that? No, but I think I got something else entirely - something I never would have imagined on my own, and that certainly left its mark on me.
Some scattered impressions:
The first thing that made me love young Phos was how they tried to hide their low self-esteem with hyperbolic, braggart language. It was so human! (Oh, how little I knew what was coming...)
Ventricosus's arc. Wonder and awe overwhelmed me in front of her legendary tale of flesh, bone, and spirit. I thought I was facing a cruel fairy tale.
Phos's hallucinations after Antarc's kidnapping. Those geometric panels, those distorted perspectives. Ichikawa really knew how to express mental disturbance with such essential lines.
I loved all the scenes where Phos's gold and platinum alloy moved as if reacting to their unconscious thoughts (like the scene where Phos is about to ask Ghost to pair up, but then doesn't. Masterful.)
I have to admit, in the early volumes I was shipping Phos and Cinnabar. I overestimated their interactions and the consequences they had on the plot. My fault for misunderstanding, not the author's - she made it narratively clear in several ways that the actions of such a multifaceted and complex protagonist didn't revolve around a single thematic center, nor around a single character.
I will never forget the scene of Phos’s first flight to the Moon, their thoughts turned to their companions. I watched that silent farewell at the start of the journey into the unknown for a long time.
And on the Moon, there we discover the true purpose of the Lunarians. By then I knew I wasn't dealing with just any manga, and when I thought "all this gives me the feeling of the Human Instrumentality Project," I mentally shrugged, thinking I'd seen too much Evangelion. Oh, how sweet I was, summer child.
And then... the Moon's arc and everything that follows. As many others have noted before me, it was from the Moon arc onward that things started spiraling out of control. I was torn about what to think of what I was reading, while my expectations were demolished without mercy. I decided to try surrendering to the story, following Spinoza's teaching - a philosopher who, by chance and fate, was my other reading during this period alongside HnK: "not to laugh at human actions, not to weep at them, nor to hate them, but to understand them".
I couldn't help but feel hope. Hope that our beloved protagonist would find happiness in this world. But hope, especially of this kind, is an earthly desire according to Buddhism, right? A sad passion, Spinoza would say.
And so, I reached the end, which I still have to process in my mind.
I tried to imagine the meaning of the final scene, the one with the comet made of Phosphophyllite fragments illuminating a young Phos in the grass. I like to think that the young Phos in the grass represents all of us. Me writing this, you reading it, everyone on this tiny planet searching for meaning and purpose. I don't know if it makes sense, but it's the first thing that came to mind.
I'm a bit envious of the version of myself who opened the first page of this manga, but that's okay. All of this certainly brightened my day, and I’ll never forget it.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this.