https://www.reddit.com/r/DeathBattleMatchups/s/Y3WWm2ZmdI
PRELUDE
Wiz:Alright,the combatants are set. We've run the data through all possibilities.
Boomstick:IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLEEE!!!
DEATH BATTLE
On a forest of Fairyland,Gertrude and Larry were looking for the key that would take Gertrude home but as usual they had no luck in finding it,making the human annoyed.
Gertrude:"Larry,i gotta ask how difficult it is to find a Fluffing key?"
Larry:"Well considering that we have been looking for decades but other guest managed to find them preety quickly,i would say is very easy you are just bad at it."
Said the snarky bug much to Gertrude annoyance.
Gertrude:"Oh shut your mouth!"
Larry:"Just saying,if we want to find a key,why not wait for a new guest to appear and to take us to their own?"
Before Gertrude can respond a bright light appeared in the sky,interrupting the conversation,as the light start to fade it reveals Tanya von Degurechaff,wearing her flight suit and with her machine gun one her back and on her hands her rifle.
She took a look around her and saw the realm of Fairyland with the smiling sun and cute creatures of fables,she wasn't amazed as a child her age would be. She putted her hand on the comunicator to try to talk to her team.
Tanya:"Status Report:the dimensional travel was a success,i seem to have been transported to a colorfull strange world,awaiting response."
'Where the hell am i? When they told me i would travel through dimensions,i thought i would go back to my original world or i would finally meet Being X,never in a hundread years would i thought to see this...weird wonderland!'
As Tanya was pondering about the absurdity of her situation Gertrude and Larry were observing the newly arrived girl,until a idea came in both their heads.
Larry:"Hey why not use-"
Gertrude:"HEY LICH!"
Gertrude ignored her guide and shouted at Tanya,who looked down and saw the annoying Gertrude.
Gertrude:"Get Down from there! I want to talk to you about your key!"
Tanya observed the girl and was repulsed by her rudness,smell and voice.
Tanya:"Status Report:One of the locals seems to be trying to estabelish contact with me,she looks human,rude,smelling and seems to be low on IQ"
Gertrude was furious upon hearing the sentence.
Gertrude:"Did you just called me dumb,Lich?"
Before Larry could advise his human she grabbed her axe from Larry hat,climbed a tree closed by and jumped towards Tanya with axe in hands,much to the soldier shock.
Gertrude:"Die!"
FIGHT!
Tanya evaded the attack and flew among the trees of the forest while Gertrude followed her.
Tanya:"The local is trying to attack me,engaging combat!"
Tanya fired her rifle against the green haired who evaded the shots and tried to swing her axe at Tanya but only managed to cut down some trees with a single slash,she was having trouble catching on.
Gertrude:"Come back here!"
The soldier circunvated the trees and flew in circles around the Fairyland guest,firing non stop to try to kill Gertrude quickly,but the green haired managed to narrowly evade the bullets fired and with her axe sliced a shot that was coming in her direction in half,cutting in two and creating two mini explosions behind her.
Gertrude:"Larry,a gun now!"
Larry quickly grabbed a machine gun from his hat and gave it to Gertrude who fired at her opponent. Tanya was already used to evading bullets so she managed to dodge them,she then flied a little to the top of the trees where Gertrude wasn't able to see.
Gertrude keeped firing to where she thought Tanya was,so she was suprised when Tanya appeared on a tree behind her,with her body completely upside down and aiming her rifle straight at her while smiling.
Tanya:"I got you."
And immediately fired straight at Gertrude who had no way to defend herself and took the shot creating a small explosion and a lot of smoke,seeing what she had done Tanya relaxed thinking she had killed Gertrude.
Tanya:"What a annoying girl,Status Report:the threat have been eliminated,requesting evac--"
But before she could finish her sentence a large tree log flew straight at her,Tanya quickly went closer to the ground to evade and was shocked upon realizing that Gertrude survived,with only small injuries,and was coming straight at her with her axe.
Tanya prepared her passive shell for protection but it shattered upon the landing of the blade,Tanya defended herself with her rifle and used her active shell that started craking upon every impact.
Gertrude:"Fight back lich! Or is this soldier uniform just for show?"
Gertrude went for a upwards slash that sended Tanya flying in the air with her shield nearly completely broken,she had some bruises but she used some magic to recover,she now hated that girl and wanted her gone.
Tanya:"What a annoying Fluffing brat! I need to take her out before she takes me...Fluffing...Fluff,why can't i say Fluff?"
Before Tanya could ponder what happened to her vocabulary,a cannon ball with eyes and mouth was shoot straight at her by Gertrude.
Cannon Ball:"Boom!!!"
Tanya raised her shield at the last second,the living ball exploded on impact,destroying the shield and sending Tanya far away,with Gertrude following suit.
Close from there in a candy castle,close to a city of candy,a sweet general was on the top of the main gate of the castle,giving his troops a speech.
Sweet General:"Attention men! We had reports that the maniac girl,Gertrude the Terrible was spotted close to our kingdom,and is our duty to stop her before she takes any more li-"
Suddenly Tanya was sent flying straight at the general,running over his body and destroying it leaving Tanya covered sweet blood on her body.
While the troops all panic due to the sudden death of their leader,Tanya whole body was in pain but she endured.
Tanya:"Muffin hugger!"
Gertrude:"Still alive there?"
Tanya saw close to the walls of the castle Gertrude with what appears to be a machine gun with multiple cannons coming out of Larry's hat.
Gertrude:"Let's light the fireworks Larry!"
Larry:"Sure,whatever you say."
Gertrude removes completely the weapon from the hat,seeing that Tanya grabs her machine gun. Both girls fire at eachother,with Tanya bullets destroying some of the balls and almost hitting Gertrude,while Gert cannon balls start destroying huge chunks of the castle.
Tanya flies around the cannon balls,evading them like she was dancing while Gertrude continued her bombardement. Tanya manages to fly through a window and enter one of the castle corridors,Tanya continued to fly inside,pushing everyone in front of her,while Gertrude cannon balls destroyed the corridor behind her.
Tanya:'That bug seems to give her a large and powerfull arsenal,and she is powerfull in hand to hand. Ugh,let's see if your dumb miracle will help here.'
Tanya grabbed her Elinium Type 95 that it started shining golden light,before flying through a window and getting a full view of her opponent who fired more cannon balls at her. Tanya prepares her rifle,summoning a holographic screen and aim at Gertrude and begins to pray for the one she hates the most.
Tanya:"Oh Lord,hear my prayer and fufill my heart desire!"
As she starts to glow golden she locks her target at the cannon balls coming at her,the gun and at Gertrude.
Tanya:"And strike down your hammer against your enemy!"
She fired the bullet that multiplied itself into many,some of the bullets destroying the cannon balls that were going straight at Tanya while the rest going straight at Gertrude and her weapon,the green haired had a shocked and worried face.
Gertrude:"That looks bad,really bad."
Larry:"What's really bad to you?"
Gertrude:"Really bad looks like a bullet looking like a comet and going straight at me!"
Gertrude ditched the gun and ran away to the destroyed gate to try to evade the bullet coming at her.
One of Tanya's bullets destroyed the cannon,while Gertrude barely managed to avoid the impact of the shots,she managed to pass through the gates of the castle and even manage to kill one of the candy guards while the last of the bullets missed Gert and destroyed the top of the main gate blocking the entrance of the castle,not that Gertrude minded.
Gertrude:"The Scorchiling,Now!"
Larry putted his hand on his hat and pulled out a dragon head with a long neck that started breathing fire everywhere.
Tanya smiled and flied towards it,the dragon noticed the girl and attempted to use his firebreath on her but Tanya dodge it,and while still using the Elinium 95 she enchanted the blade on her rifle and with a swift fast attack cutted off the head of the dragon.
Gertrude was suprised but didn't give up,she jumped and grabbed the head of the dragon in midair and threw at Tanya,who protected herself by shooting the head,creating a huge explosion of blood but it also covered Tanya vision for a moment.
Acting quickly Gertrude grabbed one of the guts from the dead dragon corpse and wrapped one of Tanya's feet.
Tanya:"Oh Zip!"
And threw Tanya to the ground,Gert then quickly got on top of the dragon carcase and jumped towards Tanya,while swinging her axe in the soldier direction.
Gertrude:"Take this!"
Having no time to loose,Tanya enchanted the blade of her rifle and prepared to intercept the attack. When both blades made contact,it created a small shockwave that ended when the axe's blade was cutted and the rifle and its blade were destroyed.
Both combatants took a glance at their broken weapon and had similar reactions,Gert was angry while Tanya was very annoyed.
Gertrude:"Gob-Ding'd! That was my favorite Ax!"
But Tanya didn't respond,instead she threw her broken rifle at Gertrude face to distract her while she pulled her knife and tried to slash her.
But it didn't work Gert took the slash on her arm and then grabbed the knife holding hand before punching Tanya right in the face making her spit some of her teeth.
Tanya quickly ran away to the halls of the candy castle to get away from Gert,who followed her with the intention of finishing the job.
Tanya:'Zip,zip,zip! I have get back to the skies if i want to have a chance of beating this fluffing lunatic!'
Tanya ran in the palace until she found,in the other side of a corridor a balcony overview the candy city below,Tanya smiled and ran towards it,but before she could reach it she received a kick from a foot coming from a mirror in the wall causing her to fall to the ground but a little closer to the balcony.
Gertrude stepped out of the mirror using the vanity gate,holding a sword and a katana,ready to slash Tanya into pieces.
Gertrude:"I'll give it to you,you are tough,anyone else would be dead by now,but would you please just die?"
Tanya got herself up,grabbed her pistol and ran to the balcony while firing at the green haired girl,who cutted the bullets one by one,before managing to get close to Tanya and was about to slash her.
But Tanya grabbed a few of her granades and threw at her opponent,while she jumped off the balcony and began to fly evading the blast of the explosives.
Tanya kept her guard up,thinking Gertrude had survived the explosion,and soon enough she was proven right as Gertrude jumped of the destroyed balcony,head to feet covered with injuries,wielding a flamethrower and firing at Tanya who summoned her shield to protect herself receiving only small burns,Gertrude then falls on one of candy houses down below,crashing the place and making the residents living there run in fear.
Gertrude walked of the destroyed home with a destroyed body,with broken bones coming out of her body,her eye only being held by a thread of flesh,she could barely walk and was in a lot of pain but could still somehow talk.
Gertrude:"That mother duckling fludger! Who the shell does she think she is?"
Larry:"Someone who is wooping your sass."
Said the bored Larry as he blows a green smoke on Gertrude face,healing her completely.
Gertrude:"No one woops my sass!"
Meanwhile Tanya who was watching everything from above using her gem,got absolutely pissed that Gertrude was all healed up due to that bug.
Tanya:'I am done this shrak,am i done with this place,and i am Fluffing done with that girl!'
Tanya grabs her machine gun and started praying,ready to end this fight.
Tanya:"Dear lord,you who shall never abandon us,please give me the power to cleanse the unholy!"
Tanya fired multiple shoots in Gertrude direction,who narrowly dodges and took cover on alley,while Tanya bullets destroy part of the town and kills some of the candy people who were trying to flee.
With a pink smoke coming out of the alley,Gertrude reappered using her mech suit and started shooting lazers against Tanya,the blond girl advanced towards Gertrude evading all of the lazer beams,she fired against the mech destroying with a few well aimed shoots.
As Gertrude left the destroyed mech she saw Tanya flying straight at her direction,she prepared herself to meet her opponent head on but was left suprised when the Devil of The Rhine went for Larry instead grabbing him with her hand.
Larry:"What the-"
Tanya:"Im done with you helping her!"
And with a small movement of her hand Tanya crushed Larry's body,making him nearly die,she then threw his body away only for the bug be grabbed again before he could hit the ground,by Gertrude who was trying to help her friend.
Gertrude:"Larry! Are you okay?"
Larry smiles at Gertrude,a little hurt and confused but welcoming.
Larry:"Oh Gertrude,you care about me?"
Instead of awnsering him,Gertrude turned to Tanya with a angry look.
Gertrude:"Hey Lich! Only i can harm this bug!"
Larry happiness faded in disappointement,but he didn't care enough to make it a big deal,Gert putted him on her shoulder and began to advance to the end of the fight.
Tanya fired again but Gertrude used the broken arm of the mech as shield and to got close to the soldier.
Tanya managed to destroy the broken arm but Gertrude jumped on top of the blond and begins to beat her up,Tanya uses her shield but due to Gertrude strenght it begins to shatter.
Tanya:"Ugh,let go of me!"
Tanya tries to fly away but the green haired girl got close enough to begin to choke Tanya from behind,the soldier struggles using her passive shell but it does little to no use.
Tanya then had the brilliant idea to fly with Gert on top of her,Tanya intetionally flied closer to the ground grinding Gertrude face,and then to the houses causing Gertrude to crash at them,but Gertrude only got even angrier and choked Tanya even harder.
Seeing no other option Tanya flew upwards to the sky with Gertrude on her,they flew quickly until they were above the clouds and Tanya was ready to end it there in that moment.
Tanya:"This is over!"
Tanya gem started glowing brighter and brighter as she prepares to blow herself up taking Gertrude with her,noticing this Gertrude gave Tanya a headbutt and let go of the soldier.
Tanya turned off the self destruction spell and flew a little far away,while Larry using all of his strenght carried Gert closer to Tanya,while Gertrude grabbed a sword twice her size from Larry's hat and took a big swing at it in Tanya direction.
Gertrude:"You are over!"
Gertrude swinged her sword at Tanya trying to cut her in half,but when she did the blade just passed right through Tanya like she wasn't even there much to Gertrude and Larry shock.
Tanya:"Oh God all Mighty!"
The Tanya that Gertrude slashed was a hologram that soon disappeared,the real Tanya was above them hidden in the clouds,she went there when Gert was grabbing the sword,and was glowing brighter than ever before as a holographic screen in front of her as she prays and was about to shoot a powerfull spell and Gertrude was powerless to stop her.
Tanya:"You who are the most compassionate, please i beg of you to rid the world of this wrench!
Gertrude and Larry hugged as they begin falling to the ground and were preparing to deal with the iminent attack.
Tanya:"And purify this world with your light!"
Tanya fires a immensely powerfull bullet right at Gertrude and Larry who had no way of defending themselfs.
Gertrude and Larry:"Oh Zipp."
The bullet hitted the two causing a massive explosion to happen and creating shockwaves strong enough to send clouds away,all of the kingdom below could feel the attack.
Gertrude and Larry scorched bodies fell from the smoke cloud caused by the explosion,they were barely alive or conscious.
Gertrude:"M-muffing...h-h-hugger..."
But before Gertrude could hit the ground her body received a shot from Tanya's gun,then another and another and another,Tanya shoots her entire clip on Gertrude's body to make sure stay dead. And when her amunition ended Tanya grabbed snd enchanted her gun and used as a bat and hitted Gertrude in the head right when her body would reach the ground creating a massive explosion.
After the smoke clear it revealed a huge crater with one person and standing close to two bodies,Tanya saw that her gun was destroyed and threw it away,she looked at her once annoying opponent who was now dead with her body burned and her head split open with Larry dead body close to her head.
Tanya smiled as she had eliminated her enemy.
Tanya:"Status Report:The enemy is confirmed to be dead,awaiting response and evacuation!"
But then Tanya realized that all that release of magic energy had burned her communicator,and had no guns,she realized that she was stuck in the wonderful world of Fairyland.
Tanya:"Fluff my Life!"
KO