best friend doesn't actually care about me??
so, I have a friend, lets call her L.... me and L have been very close friends for about 10 years now, we met in school and we both consider each other our best friend. however, L has always been a little unconventional: strict parents so didn't hang out much outside of school or work, very nonchalant about things.... it was my birthday a month ago, I was 21 so wanted to do something nice but chill while I was at home so mentioned it to L and a couple others. for reference, we always have long phone calls- almost always initiated by L which stuttered after a bad breakup I went through a couple years ago when I had very bad mental health, so she would chat to me. we had one of these regular phone calls the day before my birthday where I mentioned it being my birthday too. when it was her birthday a month prior to this, I put a collage of her on my instagram story and sent her a birthday message at midnight and also called during the day. I also went to her birthday house party and there was an issue with my train in getting there but I rlly wanted to be there for her so I paid over £30 for an uber to where she lives. im not blaming her for this, just showing the typical things I do for my friends when its their birthday or when they need me. so- the day of my birthday- no message, no call, no cute collage, nothing from most of my friends.... I tried not to let it get me down and just thought she might've momentarily forgotten/been busy. but then the next days and weeks came and went and just.... nothing from her. it's now a month later and ive heard not even a text from her. she literally just called me but I didn't pick up because idk how to handle it. until now I was just gonna not speak to her and try and move on because I hate the feeling of begging to be considered and loved and would find it so much easier to just move on and try and forget being forgotten and focus on myself and finding more reciprocal friendships. but now she's called idk if im being crazy and dramatic and she's just been busy?? but no text or anything?? I have no clue what to do- neither of us are good at setting boundaries or things like that so it's hard to know if she actually doesn't care. she's also got a massive new group of extroverted friends and spends a lot more time with them/telling me about them. I feel completely forgotten and replaceable and stupid for caring so much. any advice would be great, thanks :):).