exec function/adhd + situational depression relief?
TL;DR I’m stuck in my head, not managing well (all executive functions) but can think, have good memory, just not the kind that works/processes - can ect lift sadness/despair, lack of motivation, confusion …or will I lose what does work and not gain what’s needed
Several therapies and meds, effort to improve, CBT, rTMS, ssri and maintained taking med for adhd.
I think all the time and I’m emotional. Divorced 2 years and haven’t seen kids. Note; depression/anxiety on & off most of my life, late diagnosed ADHD and ASD1. I’m smart (I guess) but not intelligent because I can’t apply anything. Nervous system is shaky.
I have no want or will or ability to imagine anything positive. Have to think of a reason why I should do anything and it’s always because someone would want me to if there was anyone. I would let myself stay in bed and starve to death if peeing in jars wasn’t weird and suicide wasn’t frowned upon. I can do 2 things a day maybe and eat once. Otherwise it’s a sad rollercoster trying to make things work and falling short, getting stuck physically between rooms.
I have good vetted reasons to commit suicide, so it’s not ugh I’m so sad I could die (but that too).
Would ect help this? Where it’s ….thoughtful depression, and the rumination veers toward ‘oh yeah that’s why things will just be shit for 30 years’
I don’t know where or how I’d live if I lose the ability to remember and think and still be sad. Or if I will end up happy but still unable to pick which peanut butter size to get.
It’s bad, but I guess could be worse, if I lose any memories of my kids I’d struggle with that.