This Subreddit was very helpful
I've had this argument with people in-person and never understood why they got so mad at me. In just a day, reading so many responses that seemed to never want to start with a statement of clarifying definition, I finally got it.
I'm sure there are some people that will argue with some parts of my reason for saying free will doesn't have much weight as a concept but that argument in itself would require us to both be arguing for a specific definition. I have read several arguments for free will that I agree with whole-heartedly but fail to change my personal stance one iota.
I was recently trying to learn more about quantum mechanics and I found that the current interpretations (I am aware some interpretations still exist for hard determinism) make my original idea of how the universe works hard to justify. After reading this subreddit, I finally stopped having my personal philosophy crisis.
Free Will, like so many other things, doesn't have an objective answer without context. Any definition you try to give necessitates framing. On a cosmological scale, I think naming the concept of making a choice is pretty meaningless. Alternatively, on a personal and legal level, we use the same concept reasonably well to decide how punishment should be ascribed or to helpfully describe the experience of life. I would never use the cosmological argument to decide a court case and never use the personal one to try to anthropomorphize reality. I believe in determining self-defence vs murder while also believing that nothing I actually do is magically "free" from the constraints of my circumstances.
People's hang up on this is entirely overblown. You can absolutely accept a yes and no on whether you believe in free will when you account for scale. Now if someone can explain how I'm still wrong, I'm all ears.