I remember when I was a kid there were jokes about hot flashes and moodiness, but no one warned me about what this shit is really like. I think most people I know feel the same way. There was always this narrative of "Did you know one day you'll just stop having your period?" and I was like "Great! Sounds awesome, sign me up". But THIS?!? wtf...
I can't sleep anymore. I get brutal hot flashes every 90 to 120 minutes throughout the day as well as at night. At night I spend at least two or three hours in phases of trying to fall asleep, trying to cool down, trying to go back to sleep. The level of heat and the tossing and turning is almost unbearable. The brain fog as a result of no sleep plus the hormonal changes is so intense. I also have ADHD and it's become a whole new beast that I cannot tame let alone mask anymore. That paired with the brain fog is mortifying to me and I've been avoiding social situations because I'm embarrassed of myself. I tend to be sharp as a tack and work in a field that requires a lot of mental acuity and I feel like an idiot who is completely unqualified even though I know I am very much qualified. I have zero libido and don't want my husband to touch me. Pretty sure all the lifting, cardio and protein in the world won't give me any visible results (I'm glad my blood pressure is perfect but still). I'm depressed, have little interest in anything I used to love doing and started going to therapy.
So far this year I've had one period, at the end of January. I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm entering early menopause? Been three months now. Guess I have nine more to go before I'll know for sure. Anyhow, I scheduled an appointment with a GYN but it was a 2 month wait. Good news is I now only have just under three weeks more to wait until I can get in.
In the meantime I started taking a ton of supplements and herbs.
Been taking tablets with Maca, chaste berry, black cohosh, saffron, iodine from kelp and chromium picolinate specifically made for peri for the last month. Also had already been taking a magnesium supplement, passionflower, l-theanine and 5-htp for sleep/stress. Plus turmeric for inflammation and a daily vitamin for women over 40. But yet ...nothing? Would this be worse without those things? Does anyone else have tips?
And again, I feel so angry that this is something all women go through in one form or another and there has been such little discussion about it in general. It's fucking 2026. Why isn't this talked about in school??? I'm very much a feminist and I'm also wondering where the dialog about this has been? Everyone's too busy talking about how they don't take botox and let their hair turn grey, which ...hooray, awesome. Good job. But let's maybe talk about how drastically our hormones alter our lifestyles, mental health and our personalities? I talked about it with my mom and it turns out she was suffering significantly when she was going through it and she never said anything! I remember her taking a lot of naps but that was about the extent of it. I guess maybe she didn't think she had room to complain because it's something women have endured in silence for apparently hundreds of years. It all feels like such a slap to the face and it makes my heart hurt.