Anyone else hiding in their room for a 20 min break?!
I don’t know if anyone else here is in this weird in-between space where you’re the sole provider, the “default parent” mentally, and somehow still the one carrying the emotional load of the entire house even though your husband is a stay-at-home dad.
My husband is genuinely a good dad, but I think people assume that because the dad stays home, the working mom suddenly gets to just… clock out after work? Meanwhile I’m running a business, managing clients all day as a therapist, making financial decisions nonstop, remembering school stuff, summer schedules, groceries, appointments, bills, forms, camp signups, and mentally tracking everybody’s moods 24/7.
What’s interesting is I’ve started taking on more women in a non-therapy advisory capacity lately because I kept noticing the same exact problem over and over: high-achieving moms who technically “have help” but still feel like their brain never powers down. They’re successful on paper but secretly sitting in parking lots overstimulated, rage-cleaning kitchens at 10pm, answering emails while their kid tells them a story, or feeling guilty no matter what choice they make. Half the work honestly isn’t productivity. It’s helping women stop operating like the emergency manager of everyone’s life.
And before anyone says “just communicate,” I promise most working moms already have. The issue is more that once you become the competent one, everyone unconsciously hands you the invisible leadership role forever.
Anyway. I’m writing this while hiding in my room for 20 minutes because apparently if mom sits down everyone suddenly needs a snack, a charger, a ride somewhere, emotional support, and to know where their shoes are immediately.