It’s important to say i have OCD and autism, which i think is really impacting me here.
I booked for a tattoo back in april, on bit of a whim (which isn’t really normal for me, but the design came to me while planning another tattoo and i sort of wanted a “impulsive” one) and despite being fine the day i filled out the forum, the day i got booked in, being still excited about it on Monday, I’m now feeling extremely anxious about it.
I have three other tattoos, but i did agonise over my third one, mostly with biting the bullet and getting booked in, despite having the design for months. And despite being a bit nervous, i was completely fine the day of (and absolutely love the tattoo). this time around, i feel like my entire body was working against me.
I just don’t know what to do. when i was talking about this with someone yesterday, i told them i still wanted the tattoo. all these scenarios keep running through my head though. what if i have a panic attack in the middle of the appointment, what if i need to cancel, will my tattoo artist dislike me for leaving it on such short notice? will my friend, who i’ve invited along, think of me differently? will the design be different to something I want but I’ll be to afraid to speak up?
i have so much nausea and i honestly feel a little faint. i think i’m most afraid of embarrassing myself and being an inconvenience to people. what should i do? should i push through or should i cancel? i was so excited about this, i hate this is how I’m feeling basically 28 hours before :(